See what both Killer and Liz have to say

Key Largo Dive Shots

Hello from Key Largo. I hope you guys are not missing me too much. Here is a quick update and photos.

We are in Key Largo, we spent yesterday walking around Miami Beach. It was a lot of expensive shops and fancy restaurants. Mostly we have been diving. Here are some of the best shots so far.

Comments(14) Posted by killer on 12/31 at 12:25 AM
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I’m not a believer in what I’ve been introduced to as astrology. I will sometimes read my horoscope, which usually mentions a rising moon somewhere and commands that I forgive my lover for his aloof attitude of late. Sometimes my horoscope will tell me what I HAVE done, which I find pretentious. An example of this is today’s horoscope:

You have let go of an old grudge—and today, that forgiveness really pays off! Whether the other parties involved are ready to reconcile, or you’re just finally ready to move on with your life, things are sweet.

I hate when my horoscope uses an exclamation mark.

One thing that IS true about my star sign is my obsession with balance. I am a Libra, which is represented by scales and ruled by equality. When I was a kid if my left foot was stepped on, I would ask that the person also step on my right. I have to have things symmetrical or I feel unsettled.

I think my body has taken this too far. I’ve noticed for the last several years that I can predict when a new zit is going to pop up. If I have a zit on the left side of my face, there is an 80% chance that I will get a zit on the right side of my face in that same location within the week. Isn’t that weird? And unfortunate?

I used to work with a woman that I called ‘Pig in a Blanket’ because, well, it was fitting. She had a very flat ass, almost concave. One of her ass cheeks was several inches shorter than her other one. She would wear tight spandex pants that accentuated this flaw. Kim pointed it out to me at a Christmas party, and after all I could do was stare at this woman’s ass. How do you walk around like that?! Knowing that your ass is asymmetrical yet flaunting it to the world?

It’s a bold statement about giving up on the things that matter in life.

Comments(4) Posted by liz on 12/29 at 09:18 AM
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Cold Christmas is for Chumps

You know what time it is kids?

That’s right. It’s time for Uncle Killer to hit the road and not look back.

Keeping with my usual style, I am leaving the cold, dreary state that Mississippi becomes this time of year for warmer climates. I am headed to Key Largo with the Bam Fam.

It should prove to be a fun filled week, with diving, drinking, frolicking on the beach and I might even break out my G string.

I have been told that on New Years Day there is a massive Drag Queen parade in Key West. The Bam Fam is as excited as I am to go witness the regalia, but I was thinking more along the lines of getting dressed up to join in the festivities. When In Rome.

So, don’t go staying up at night worrying if poor old Killer is warm enough down in the chilly weather of Mississippi...I won’t be there.

Comments(7) Posted by killer on 12/24 at 09:31 AM
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Merry Screw You

I’m usually happy for someone when they get something they like. Life treats us sometimes to the things we want, and I find that something to be joyful about. I am excited. I’ve gotten a new ride and she’s HOT! It’s a sporty number, in a modern dark slate, with a Bose stereo system, a sun roof, and heated seats. She’s an ‘08 Altima Coupe with a V-6 engine and a dual exhaust and I’m proud of her because she’s spunky and pretty but she’s not conceited.

I keep in perspective that this is a CAR. I wish other people would too and would respond appropriately to my new acquisition. Correct reactions to seeing the car are along the lines of, “Hey! Nice ride!” or “Wow! I didn’t know Nissan made these.” or “Man! I love that color!” I’ve gotten some similar responses, but I’ve also gotten some reactions that I find inappropriate and ill fitting. Comments that are meant to shame me because I now have a kind of nice car.

WTF?

I’m pretty grounded about material possessions, this car included and maybe especially. I do not think that having a sports car makes me better than you Sedan drivers. What kind of asshole thinks that way? It’s simply steel and rubber and oh-so-soft leather. It’s nothing to brag about because I did not build the car myself, I simply purchased the car. Therefore, I cannot comprehend why other people have taken to admiring my car while making comments like, “Well, aren’t WE rich?” and “Look who thinks she’s rolling with the big niggas!” My favorite insult has been, “You’d never see ME driving a foreign made car! If it ain’t a Ford, it ain’t worth riding in,” as if my choice shows an unforgivable lack of intelligence. These comments are annoying as fuck. The even bigger question is, “What’s bringing them on”?

I know. You want to say ‘jealousy’, but truth be told, some of the people who have reacted this way are actually better off financially than I am. So mark that one off your list. I think that some people are genetically dispositioned to be haters. They see something of beauty and loathe it. Regardless, it’s a CAR. Don’t waste your hate on me and my CAR. My god.

I feel sorry for the dude or chick that invents the cure for cancer. “Well, aren’t WE trying to show off our big brain?” “Oh! Don’t fuck with Mark. HE cured cancer!” “Well excuse me, Your Highness, I FORGOT that YOU cured cancer!”

People can be so fucked up.

Comments(11) Posted by liz on 12/22 at 10:48 PM
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Bored Work Photos

Hello, This is me, bored at work. Oh, what to do at work, when there are no sick people to poke with a stick.

I forgot! I have my computer in my back pack. It’s an Apple, so it has one of the most addictive programs for tweeners and middle age geeks, Photo Booth.

Actually the only person expected to appreciate this post is my boy, Clib. We frequently email each other these, usually taken when something more important was supposed to be getting accomplished.

This first one starts off simple enough, it is me with a hand for a head.