Testees…testees…1, 2, 3

Forgive me blogosphere, for I have sinned.  It has been well over two years since my last blog post, and in that time I have packed in a LOT of poor judgement and un-blogger-like sinning.

I broke a solemn promise I made myself twelve years ago:  I moved back to Mississippi.  I had escaped after spending my impressionable youth there, and was lured back by the dream of being a small business owner.
Which brings me to my next confession: I opened a small business.  If you are contemplating this, for the love of all that is holy, DON’T DO IT!  It sucks!  Payroll, inventory, maintenance, and the teenage employees, they all monumentally suck balls.  Especially the teenage employees, I have worked since I was 12, and I don’t recall being a smarmy little shit, but I might be glossing over that part of my past.
I opened a SECOND small business:  If one small business is driving you crazy, and not making enough money to quit your full time job, what is the most logical conclusion?  If you said open a second small business, you are as poorly informed as I was.  There were other small factors around this time that made the decision to do this even stupider, but I have started blocking out these details from my subconscious, sort of like a rape victim.
I closed the Second small business due to lack of actual business:  Can you believe that if your business fails, the greedy ass bank wants it’s loan money back.  If you don’t pay it back they want you to claim bankruptcy.  Being a real Libertarian, not one of those ones you see on TV, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t pay for my own mistakes.  If the business was a success, I would frolic naked in all the money, so why shirk the responsibility of failure. 
This brings me to:  I left Mississippi again. I left to do what I do best, wander the countryside as a mercenary nurse who works ridiculous hours every week.  Instead of saving the money to travel aimlessly around the globe however, all the money is sent to those greedy bank bastards.  I think of it as a new student loan.  I learned a whole damn lot for that money.  I learned that business sucks, and I want to be able to clock out and go home at the end of the day. 
My final, and possibly most irresponsible, sin:  I quit writing and blogging and doing something creative. It doesn’t seem like much, but I need to be able to get all this crazy shit out of my head. 

I hope to be able to absolve my sins in your eyes.  I will try posting more, and vow to even get the elder statesman of Killer Rants, Liz, back into the world of blogging.  She also has had some major shake ups in her world that will undoubtedly need to be aired out in this public forum.  I am going to attempt to avoid revealing my present location, which will most likely change frequently, because working in the ER, can offer some hilarious stories. 

A very special thanks to our tech guru and web designer, Jester, who fixed all tech difficulties in order to get us up and running again.  In all fairness he also shared with me, his distasteful experience with a small business, but I ignored it.  I promise to be more open to guidance. 

•   Comments(5)    Posted by killer on 07/17 at 10:21 PM
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Who Doesn’t Hate A Traffic Jam?

Man Pushes Would-be Jumper off bridge

The above mentioned link, though unfortunate, made me smile.  I like the guys take-charge, problem solving attitude.  I also can only tolerate a traffic jam so often.

I am just going to cut and paste the article as well, in case you are too lazy to follow the above link.

Mon May 25, 11:56 am ET

BEIJING (Reuters) – A Chinese man was pushed off a bridge by an angry passer-by after his threat to commit suicide held up traffic for five hours, Chinese media reported on Saturday.

Retired soldier Lian Jiansheng, 66, broke through a police cordon and reached out to shake the hand of would-be jumper Chen Fuchao before shoving him off the bridge.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interests,” Lai was quoted as saying by the China Daily newspaper.

“They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to their appeals.”

Chen, 2 million yuan ($293,200) in debt because of a failed building project, fell 8 metres (yards) onto a partially inflated emergency air cushion and was hospitalized with wrist and back injuries. Lai was detained by police.

Chen was at least the twelfth person since early April to threaten suicide at the same spot, the Haizhu bridge in Guangzhou. But none jumped and—until Lian gave Chen a helping hand—none was pushed.

(Editing by Jerry Norton)

Could you imagine trying to drive home from work, and for the TWELFTH time, traffic is stopped at the same bridge for a jumper.  Especially on a bridge that only has a 8 meter (26 feet or about 2 stories) drop.  Lian Jiansheng is my new hero.  I wonder if he has any tshirts for sale?

•   Comments(6)    Posted by killer on 06/01 at 05:43 AM
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Undoubtedly, This will Happen to Me, at the hands of Liz

Upon reading this article shivers ran down my spine.  I have an eerie feeling that this has come very close to happening to me at Liz’s house on numerous occasions.

Man Causing Real Stink in Motel Room Gets Stabbed
AP
Thu Apr 9, 9:00 pm ET

WACO, Texas – A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said. Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer Steve Anderson said. One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said.

The 35-year-old man was transported to a Waco hospital, where he was treated for what appeared to be non-life threatening injuries, Anderson said.

Jose Braule Ramirez, 33, of Houston, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, police said. He was arraigned Wednesday and was being held in the McLennan County Jail on $15,000 bond and placed on an immigration hold, according to jail records . He cannot be released, even if he posts bond, until authorities verify he is in the country legally.

A jail spokeswoman who declined to give her name said she was not allowed to release information on whether Ramirez had an attorney.

I don’t want to be inappropriate and speak of such things as flatulence in a public forum, but on rare occasions, I have been known to have some uncontrollable, and regrettable, gaseous issues at Liz’s lovely home.  No accusations are intended, but I have seen her reaching for sharp objects and giving me threatening glances.  I personally feel that I have NEVER flatulated in her home without remorse and only when completely necessary to avoid bodily discomfort. 

I certainly have never done it maliciously and upon her complaints, I have ALWAYS ceased to do so.

I for one am outraged by this lone man’s reaction to flatulence and am praying this does not become a pandemic, or mass hysterical reaction that our often too-fast-to-react society embraces.

I am going to try to get some air time on the O’Reilly Factor to try and address my concerns

•   Comments(6)    Posted by killer on 04/11 at 05:45 PM
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