Worth Remembering

I’m taking a moment today to really do what you’re supposed to do on Memorial Day- Remember. We’re so fortunate to be born in a country where things like bullshit blogs can be posted without fear of retribution- except for retribution by your place of employment- and where it’s ok to be a freak or a religious conservative or a homosexual or all 3 combined. How blessed we are! Although war is hell, it seems like it’s part of the human condition. I’m grateful for the soldiers who have fought to keep our democracy in tact and would like celebrate them today.

There. The moment of reverence is over and the more shallow memorials can begin:

I’d like to remember my size 10 pants. They were good pants and I loved them. I had one pair I especially loved. They fit just right, showed the curves ahead, and allowed me to breathe without having to suck in my stomach. They were low-riders, but not so low that underwear or crack was exposed. I miss them- and I’ll probably never see another size 10 on my body again. Except in Photoshop.

A special shout out to brown hair. I used to have that. I started playing with color around 10 years ago and in that time gray has charged in and is attempting a takeover. People my age are moms and look like moms. Gray hair is my touchstone to reality. I’m one of them. Yikes.

Tequilla. I can’t do it anymore. The very smell makes my mouth water in that ‘I’m about to hurl’ kind of way but I really long for those days when 4 shots and a pack of smokes made for a great start to a long night.

Men who aren’t divorced. I will never again see the time when I can walk into a bar and know that 80% of the guys my age in that bar are single and have never been married. Now finding a mate involves a lesson in his personal history and his attempts to shed himself of his ex-wife baggage. Most of the time I’d honestly rather stay home than hear one more story about ‘her’.

The excitement of a new Indiana Jones film. This last one killed it for me. I went to see it Friday night and I have already forgotten the plot. I think it’s because I was sitting on the second row in the far right corner of the theater. I concentrated more on pore size than movie content. The nostalgia of my love for Indy keeps me from saying the movie was awful but, even if another one IS made, I won’t go see it. The same thing happened with Star Wars. I saw all 3 of the good ones then went to the theater to see the one with Jar-Jar Binks in it and I haven’t watched a Star Wars since. Lucas, quit fucking up good things.

Watching late night TV without glasses. I’ve been in contacts for almost 18 years and for the last 10 of those years have dreamed of the magic eye surgery which would allow me to see without the use of glasses or contacts. I wanted to give it several years to see if there were any side effects to Lasiks surgery and, as recently plastered on the news, for many people there is. I’m not a risk taker when it comes to my eyeballs. This means that for me, forever, Conan O’Brien will look like an oddly shaped white dot smoldering under an orange flame.

My grandma’s cooking. It fucking rocked the house and I still think of it at least once a week. It deserves special recognition because it was too awesome for words. I can’t do it- no one else can. I miss her and, equally, her outstanding food.

Not worry about money and working every fucking day. That totally deserves being memorialized. Oh, I get the weekends and a vacation every now and then, but unless I live to be 70 (unlikely) or marry wealth (even more unlikely), I will have a fucking job for the fucking rest of my fucking life. I don’t worry about money too much now, but if I didn’t have job I would. Weekends, although joyous, also leave me somewhat depressed. They’re like the 5 seconds of air they give you when you’re being waterboarded.

So that’s my list of things that I’m taking time out this Memorial Day to remember. I hope next year to be memorializing my gigantic boobs, cards that aren’t handmade, and life without HBO.

•   Comments(9)    Posted by liz on 05/26 at 01:04 PM
•   Digg   del.icio.us   Fark   StumbleUpon