What if I just Want to Vent?

Right now, I just want to bitch. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want anybody telling me to view the glass half full, and I don’t want any advice. I just want someone to listen to me rant. In person. Someone who could take this heap of foul language without being shocked at my talent for streaming together profane sentences. Someone that would sympathize and tell me how right and justified my feelings are, even if I am overreacting. Someone to mix my cocktails and make sure the conversation didn’t end before I had a strong buzz working.

Or a massage. A massage would be nice.

I’ve never been a “kick the dog” kind of person. I usually handle my frustrations with maturity. But today I want to throw a full-fledged 3-year-old tantrum. I’ve had it! I’m tired of cum-crusted assholes invading my personal space and infringing their idiot rituals on me or even NEAR me. I want to see them burst into flames before my very eyes. Remember the scene from the Indiana Jones flick where the dude melted? I have a list. You know how little league ball players form the high five line after every game? I want a slap line, where I line them up and run past them all, knocking the shit out of them as I pass. THEN they catch fire and then they melt. The only thing left is their wallets, which I will collect and loot from. I will run insane charges up on their credit cards so that their descendants will be burdened with their debts for many years to come. Anyone with their genes deserves to be reminded that they are descended from rancid, odiforus, chunky smegma.

I guess you could say it’s been a stressful day.

The good news is that I’m having a party this weekend. Yay parties! I plan on having the camera ready so I can lay down some images one day next week. Killer will be in attendance, which automatically means it will be an entertaining gathering. The pressure is off him, though, as many of those coming are more like characters from the best book ever written than real live people. These are my friends. And I love them.

In other, sad news, I guy I work (not too closely) with was killed in a motorcycle wreck last night. This has been upsetting at a degree I find a little surprising. We were more than acquaintances, but not really ‘friends’. He was always very nice to me, and he appreciated some things I’ve done for him in the past. He always called me ‘pretty lady’ and he was protective. If he was around and anyone even challenged something I said, he would, inappropriately, step in. In other words, I knew this guy fairly well but we weren’t hanging out on weekends or even seeing each other daily. I’ve watched him struggle to make himself a better man for his daughter and throw all of his passion and heart into his work. He was rough on the exterior, but really did have a very generous heart. The thing that hit so hard was when I read the account of the accident and it said he quit breathing on the stretcher. The accident was gruesome, and he knew it- he knew he was broken, he knew he wouldn’t make it, he knew that his breaths were numbered. And he had to know it for at least 15 minutes. Man. That’s tough.

Isn’t it strange? Those people in your world who are mostly background, yet when something happens to them you feel like there was something you should have said that you’ll never get the chance to say? To a degree, it’s like our little blogging community. We know things about each other- we know some of each other’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities as well as the good stuff. As much as it sort of creeps me out to think of you guys as ‘friends’ I do have to acknowledge that the regular commenters mean something to me. I check in at your blogs and keep tabs of who is doing what. It makes connections- voyeuristic to be certain, but still relevant. We’re each other’s background.

So, I’ll say thanks. Thanks for continuing to check in at Killer Rants and supporting us through your well wishes, contributions, and funny comments.

When I form my slap line, you will be spared.

•   Comments(6)    Posted by liz on 09/26 at 04:23 PM
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