What Does it Take to Get Noticed Around Here?

I try to remain somewhat anonymous on the blog. No last names, no mention of where I work, and only pictures that I have personally approved (Killer, are you reading this?). I like that the ‘man’ can’t trace me. I’m like a Bond girl. Ok. Maybe not. But if I ever need to go into wittness protection, I have a nice head start. I leave no trail.

A former boss came up recently in conversation and I was told I needed to Google him. I did. Holly fuck. He’s all over the freaking place. I, however, am no where on Google. NO WHERE.

Public Radio has done several articles on employers using Google to find out about you before they’ll hire you. WHAT? I’ve read the same thing in a magazine. Future employers searching for me will instead be lead to a woman who does quilt designs for a living and a chick who likes to post about her current mood.

This is not the Liz you have come to know and love. Nor are these women ‘Lizs’ I am eager to be confused with. I want a splashy, Hollywood, WOW to explode in the minds of my future bosses when they Google me and read the many postings. I want them to think, “How could I have gone this long and not known about Liz? I must be an idiot...” I want to skip the interviews, because Google says it all for me.

So… how do I get on this ‘Google’ and how do I prostitute it to my full advantage? I want to be the first hit that comes up and I want RAVING comments from (fictional?) newspapers, satisfied customers, glowing performance reviews.... what ever. Blogosphere- please help! And can we make this happen SOON? I’m kind of thinking about the next phase and you never know what that might mean…

  • Hey Liz,

    This is simpler than you think. First you need to create a blog under your own real life name. Secondly you should create a blog where you blog about what you do in your professional life. Those two things will launch you into “the google” pretty easily. After that is a a fine art of making sure you manage your reputation online.

    By Dickie Maxx on 2008 05 27

  • Or you could use your anonimity for another careeer as a hit person. Just think of it. The person who knocks off your boss for a fee. Mayke money and not be a suspect. If they did a googl search they would come up with Killer grin

    By I.P. on 2008 05 27

  • Maybe now when someone googles, “Liz Prostitutes” this post will come up.

    By killer on 2008 05 27

  • My first blog had my name in the URL. Duh. I canned that one and only use my pseudonym. I googled my name recently and only found my salary printed in the paper like all the other state employees. I have no choice about that.

    By churlita on 2008 05 28

  • Dickie-

    I can barely manage half of one blog… but point taken. Thanks.

    IP-

    But I’m delicate. If I got got on Dateline and had to serve prison time… Let me just say Killer could do jail. He already has tatoos. Me? Not so much.

    Killer,
    Is the prositututes you refer to a noun or a verb?

    Churlita,
    Is Churlita not your real name and, if not, where did you come up with the pseudonym? I just googled you and guess what? MY name came up. I’m totally serious!

    By liz on 2008 05 28

  • I love it that a guy who calls himself Dickie Maxx is hanging around here.  Cool name!

    Here’s what comes up most when I google my name:

    ~ a junior Game Design major at the Savannah College of Art & Design in Savannah, Georgia;

    ~ someone who works in the film industry and has worked with Clive Owen; and

    ~ someone who raises funds for Ugandan orphans.

    None of these people are me, but they lead much more interesting lives.

    By Gwen on 2008 05 28

  • But Gwen- not everyone gets to have their visiting pig meet a Kid in the Hall. I’ll bet that fund raiser is seething with jealousy!

    By liz on 2008 05 28

  • A large part of how Google ranks pages is not just the relevance to the search, but how many other sites are linked to it. Just creating a webpage, website, or blog with whatever seeded information you want out there is half the battle. Then you have to whore yourself around the web, getting people to post links to your page/site/blog, or posting them yourself.

    http://rebturtle.com

    See, like that. I’m the #1 rated rebturtle on Google!!

    By rebturtle on 2008 05 29

  • how on earth did i miss this post?  regardless, ya kinda freaked me out.  so i googled me.  some of my professional crap shows up, but then there is some broad in texas how does some fundraising for a rotary club who also shows up.  we have the same name.  and now i wanna email her. 
    hehe

    By hello haha narf on 2008 06 02

  • who.  who does fundraising.
    sheesh.
    bet the bitch can type, too.
    sigh.

    By hello haha narf on 2008 06 02

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  • Retractable Banner Stands said

    I think the moniker implies intent and I did not go looking for them.  In fact, I’d prefer a nice man, my age, who has a good head on his shoulders and between his legs.  And now you may know a whole lot more about me than you wanted
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