There’s No Place Like Home
I have an unnecessary trepidation about moving out of Mississippi. It’s not uncommon- lots of people stay in their home states forever. But shouldn’t I be living a jet-setting lifestyle? Surrounded by art and bombarded with an array of international cultures? Shouldn’t I at least have the potential to date a man who wears a suit everyday and walks to his office? Or be having an affair with a well-known and incredibly wealthy writer? I’d like having a corner market and a neighborhood pub right outside my front door. These things are currently unavailable in my area of Mississippi.
My fear of leaving makes me confront a brutal possibility- that I’m kind of a wus. That’s not cool.
I have many friends who have left. What’s strange is that most of them, although glad they don’t live in Mississippi anymore, comment on how you’ll never find friends like the friends you have here. This is a good comment, not sarcastic or a statement that is intended to place Mississippi people in an “unwanted” or “too weird to talk about” category. I live in the world of Mississippi that doesn’t get publicity; the corner where people are educated, genuine, honest, and loyal to each other. With these people, “back stabbing” is something you see on TV, not a goal to be accomplished. My friends chip in to help when one of us needs it, delight each other with a sharp wit and quick comebacks, and spend a lot of time talking about things other than Paris Hilton or themselves. When the ex-pats talk about their new homes and their new friends, it’s never with the same fondness that they use when they talk about the people they have left behind.
Mississippi isn’t full of the “simple” pleasures- some of the pleasures are quite complicated. So are the problems. I am somewhat willing to leave a place where people pronounce “credit” like “credick” and “Wal Mart” like “Wal Marts” in order to find another middle class to enjoy. I’d like to no longer live in a place that ranks last in everything good and first in everything bad. But yet, there’s no place like home. The thought of leaving my friends and even my family so far away is scary to me. The idea of starting over is uncomfortable. Yet.... I don’t know.... every year I am becoming more tempted.
Part of the reason I’m still here is that I don’t know where else I would go. I’m not dying to go any one place. I’ve thought about Nashville, because I’ve always liked that town and I’d get to see Richard more. It’s not too far from home. It’s urban yet still manageable. But if I’m going to move, I wonder if that’s enough of a change. What city has what I’m looking for?
It seems a lot of Mississippians, myself included, want to go to North Carolina. You have mountains (my favorite) and beaches, city and country, all together in one spot. I think part of my fear is going alone. Yet, I think if I went with someone else, I would eventaully wish I didn’t have the baggage of having him come with me.
I want to live somewhere with low crime, lots of activity, and a reasonable cost of living. I’ve also considered Oregon, even though I’ve never visited. The geography is wonderful. But I’m so social. I am afraid of going through that painful time of having no friends to mix cocktails with or play cards with. I dread moving- alone- which is a bitch- and not knowing how to get anywhere. I don’t want to wonder about the multitude of unknowns.
I guess, that for the time being, I’ll stay put. But I’m going to start thinking and preparing myself for the next turn in the road. We’ll see if it puts me in a place where I walk out of my door and the air smells like change.
Comments(14) 
Posted by liz on 09/10 at 04:11 PM-
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North Carolina was okay. Except as a non-smoker, I found that f****** awful smell around Winston-Salem intolerable. East of there are a lot giant chairs welcoming you to whatever little town you’re driving into. West of there is the ocean and seafood restaurants and tourist stuff that comes with being near the ocean.
Oregon I cannot tell you about, since it is one of eight of the 48 I have yet to even drive through.
I can advise you on most parts of Texas. The nice thing about Texas is that it’s so big that you can find most of the things you want somewhere in it. The not so great thing about Texas is that when you are traveling to someplace else, it takes a damn long time to get out of it.
My dad thought it would be nice to retire to Minnesota. I thought that it was too damn cold and didn’t want anything to do with it before or after July.
If you’ve got such wonderful friends, keep them.
If you decide to leave, your family will probably still welcome you back at Thanksgiving and Christmas and such.
Dating a guy in a suit doesn’t sound so bad.
You might want to rethink that affair with a well-known author. After you break-up, anything you said or did would be fair game. And you might have to worry about that sort of thing even before the break-up, even if it isn’t fair.
I guess I’m having a senior moment. Who’s Richard?
By laughingattheslut on 2007 09 10
I never thought about the writer issue. Certainly HE would end up on this blog, so I guess all’s fair.
Richard is one of my friends in Nashville. We’ve known each other almost 20 years. I try to get up there every couple of years to visit. I like him and I like his town.
By liz on 2007 09 10
Well, I consider myself an expert in the topic of moving.
I have moved 39 times, I am 39 years old. My advice to you at this very moment is research, research and more research. Narrow your choices down to 2-3 options and then determine can you get a job/make a living in the places you have narrowed it down to?
Next find out what time of year is the crappiest weather wise in that location and then take a week long vacation there during the crappy weather season. If you can handle it for a week, you can outlast the season more than likely.
I was raised in my formative years in the place you have described. A place where you make friends that you just can’t make anywhere else. I am actively trying to figure out a way to get back to that area. The reason I left is the reason I never went back, I couldn’t make a good living, the employment just was not there. It’s changing now and I’m also considering finding my balls and opening my own business.
So that’s my advice. Two main things, how do you make a living? Can you stand the area on it’s crappiest days. That’s the key to moving. Oh and stay the fuck away from Los Angeles and other big big huge ciies. They will suck he will to live out of the marrow of your bones.
By dave on 2007 09 10
Yeah, Atlanta’s out. Even with the plethora of fine universities and other edukashonal opportunities around here, they still say “credick.” It’s maddening, truly sad. And the traffic....holy sh*t, the traffic.
North Carolina is being ruined - it’s overrun by Yankee developers who don’t give a f*ck about the natural beauty (just high rise condos) and illegal immirgrants (not politically correct, but it’s true). We did A LOT of research on Charlotte and Raleigh-Durham. They are growing way too fast and are going to have a lot of infrastructure problems soon.
Nashville sounds like your best best. I wish we’d moved there....
By shut my mouth on 2007 09 10
So much to consider!Thanks for the great advice.
Dave, I am a former school teacher, former MS State Dept of Ed employee then Director and I am now a corporate trainer. Was that to help you help me with more options or simply satisfying a curiousity?
I’m shy when it comes to posting too much about what I do and where I do it. You never know who’s reading!
By liz on 2007 09 10
I have lived all over and still never decided where is the best place.
I would like to live in: Portland, OR., Nashville, TN., Austin, TX., Athens, GA., or Missoula, MT.
All laid back college towns. I have only had the chance to live in one (Missoula) and I loved it.
By Killer on 2007 09 11
I live in a little town full of little minds (or maybe that’s just the way they’re making me feel this week...) so I’ve been considering moving too. I’m seriously thinking about moving to Gatlinburg just because I really like it there. The job I have I can do from about anywhere but I still don’t move. I think I’m just afraid of going out somewhere all alone.
Wow, babbling in the am. Definate food for thought post…
By Susan on 2007 09 11
if you are interested in heading north, pittsburgh is wonderful. fortunately it is not too terribly far north so winters aren’t bad at all.
and i mix a mean ketel one martini. or marker’s mark anything. of course i know all the best places to find cold, tasty beer and great food. plus my friends would welcome you with open arms.
it was good enough for mr. rogers…
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 11
I’ve always thought about moving to Portland, OR. For the few days I’ve spent there, I got a really good vibe from that city.
Austin is a town that I’ve heard tons of good things about. I’ve never been there, but people tell me it’s actually a bigger version of Nashville.
I can vouch for Nashville, of course.
I love it here. If there were only a neighborhood bar that I could walk home from…
By Richard on 2007 09 11
I live in a town with one of the biggest fiction writing schools in the country. From what I hear, “having an affair with a well-known and incredibly wealthy writer” is highly overrated.
By churlita on 2007 09 11
I didn’t think that Pittsburgh was that great, though I did like the surrounding area. And I love Kennywood. Kennywood is open. Hah hah hah.
But I was there during the summer when everything was pretty, and I still wasn’t that into it. It rained a lot, but mostly at night, so that wasn’t too bad. But I suppose during other times of the year it gets cold and it rains more during the day time.
We did notice that there were a lot of dead deer on the freeway. Dead deer in the nearby countryside I could understand, but why did all those deer go into the city to commit suicide?
And somehow everything that you need to get to is on the other side of some river. So you can’t get there from here. Or, at least, it’s a bother to find it if you don’t know where all the bridges are, and then it can still take a while.
The green signs that are supposed to tell you which lane to get into to get where you’re going are attached to the overpass at an angle that makes it impossible to read until it is too late to change lanes to get where you are going. So if you don’t know where you are going you might drive through the middle of town three times just trying to read the signs.
By laughingattheslut on 2007 09 11
I never thought so many people would also have the urge to move. Maybe urge isn’t the right word. It’s more like being ready for a change in scene. Thanks for all of your thoughtful comments and, Churlita, I’ll wait on you to give me a first hand account before I make any moves to Iowa.
By liz on 2007 09 11
Nashville is a blast. I’ve never regretted moving here. Ever. And that is saying a LOT. I actually love it enough that I don’t really want to leave. Unless it was to move closer to the mountains around Gatlinburg. But I hate tourists. And there are LOTS of tourists there. More than in Nashville. I can avoid the ones here.
By Roadchick on 2007 09 11
laughing -
the city can be quite confusing with all of the “one way” and “do not enter” and “construction” signs, plus the bridges and all. more times than i can count i’ve told confused drivers, “follow me and i’ll take you there. trust me, it’s just easier this way.” but i have never had a problem reading the green signs. seems to me that so long as i put a turn dignal on, other drivers will let me do jsut about anything i want. very courteous drivers around here.
funny you mentioned the deer. i work in greentree, just outside of downtown proper, and there are always deer & turkeys in my parking lot. pittsburgh has plenty of greenspace so the wildlife enjoy city living as much as i do.
although you are so right about deer on the side of the road. all over pa, not just pittsburgh. hell, once i was in canada for a week and whenever i told someone i lived in pittsburgh they would inevitably respond with “we always drive through pennsylvania to get to florida” quickly followed by “oh, there sure are a lot of deer hit by cars, aren’t there?” cracked me up...i mean every canadian drives to fl thru pa? that is one hell of a drive! don’t they like planes?
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 12