The Castle Auction
The outside world thinks of Mississippi as a cultural wasteland. I have proof that will dispell that myth! I went to an auction at a castle on Saturday. Much like the grand castles of England or Ireland or Hungary, Mississppi has a castle of its very own.
The castle has been around since the seventies- 1970’s- and is the vision and design of a madman who passed away two years ago. Dale McGee was a guns dealer with, from all accounts, a touch of mental instability and a hedonistic bend. For almost 20 years I’ve driven by that castle and wanted to see the inside so when I heard they were having an estate sale, I had to be part of it! I dressed in my most appropriate court clothes (a Cubs T and jeans) and headed to Raymond.
It was the most grotesque building I’ve ever been in. It’s like the trailer park version of the Playboy mansion. It was garish and obnoxious and creepy but very interesting. As you can see by the exterior photo, the outside of the castle is reminiscent of the monkey house at a zoo. The inside was even worse. There was glitter painted on the wall, which means everything that came out of the house had glitter residue clinging to it. There were tapestries everywhere. There were no less than 4 suites of armor and at least 30 coat of arms. There was a round table (as in Knights of the Round Table). There was BAD stained glass. There was a freaky mannequin in a carriage hanging from the ceiling. There were 185 upholstered chairs- all alike. My boss was there and loaded the purchases and will bring them to my house today. He bought a 4-wheeler for $450. I paid more for things that, in hindsight, make me question my sanity.
I bought a beer stein for $25 that costs $275. German made and stamped, so I went on-line to Thewalt and started checking out prices. My stein is in perfect condition. I couldn’t find the exact stein I bought (it’s really unusual and pretty large), but the sticker was still on the bottom. I’m sure the stein is several years old and likely not being made any more. According to what I saw on line, $300 is about right. I had no idea steins were so high! That’s a good price for a cool purchase.
I should have stopped there.
Seriously.
The WEIRDEST purchase of my day was swords. “I bought swords.” I keep saying that in my head. What the hell was I thinking? If you say “swords” enough times, it quits sounding like a real word- especially when you own them. I bought 3 swords and paid too much. WAY too much, but I can live with it. While they were auctioning the swords, I kept telling myself that I needed one of those. For some reason (sun stroke?) I thought I’d be the coolest kid in my neighborhood if I had a sword to play with. I couldn’t stop at one, because the first one I bought was kind of broken. I’m giving my brother one for Christmas, I’m keeping the small one (it’s a girl’s sword, for sure), and I guess giving one to my dad for his man room. But I bought SWORDS. “Liz bought swords.” That doesn’t make any sense, no matter how many times I say it.
As strange as those purchases are, I also bought a table and 2 chair set of the tackiest Egyptian furniture (reproduced, of course) that I’ve ever seen. But I love it. It’s funky and wild and fun. Check out the picture and feel happy-and sorry- for me.
I did not pay the $998 the seller suggests (that on sale) the chair go for, of course, but I still can’t believe what I just did. Oh, I’m going to freakin’ LOVE this shit but still… WTF?
All I wanted was one chair, but no such luck. I had to buy the set. Several audience auction people referred to the set as “an heirloom piece”. An heirloom piece of garish, obnoxious shit, maybe. My goddaughter gets this set when I die. We share a love of the delightfully tacky. But then again, she’s 7.
I fear I’m reaching the tipping point. My house is (usually) clean and inviting and is appointed with unusual but tasteful conversation pieces (except maybe the 1950’s muscle men pictures ). So I live in this nest that is very colorful and fun but not over the top. I think I’ve pushed that to the breaking point. I think that now I have actually crossed the line I never thought I’d cross. I might as well go ahead and get 6 more cats and carry my sword with me when I go to get the mail. It’s that bad.
I’m not doing this auction thing again for a long while, but Saturday sure was a lot of fun! It will be three weeks before I feel that I’ve showered these damn cooties off of me. I’m telling you, that place was so gross it penetrated my very soul.
And now I own pieces of it.
Comments(23) 
Posted by liz on 03/16 at 11:10 AM-
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Oh yeah - auctions are fun. Redneck came home with a sword from one about a year ago. I had to forcibly restrain him from buying another one at the auction where I bought the Disco Crucifix. (In case anyone has forgotten what it looks like, you can see it here: http://allamericangirlsroadtrip.blogspot.com/2008/02/doing-her-part-to-keep-economy-strong.html )
Someone should’ve restrained me. Oh well, it’ll look nice in the center of the table at Easter dinner. One lucky diner is taking it home as a door prize.
By Roadchick on 2008 03 16
Why couldn’t you just CriCut some Egyptian designs and turn your regular chairs into that? You should shop smarter not harder.
By Killer on 2008 03 16
oh shit, liz, this was quite the hilarious read. probably hilarious because i would have done the same damn thing.
who the hell puts glitter on the walls? wtf? i will, however, totally admit to loving the outside of the house. don’t make too much fun of me for that one.
the chairs are frikken awesome. awesome in your house! take photos and post them for us, please.
although now you make me want to price out the two steins i have. becuase if i can get $300 + for them they might be out the door.
please don’t let killer come over and sword fight you, though. someone could get hurt…
By hellohahanarf on 2008 03 16
Among the people I usually hang out with, I am in the minority who doesn’t own swords. Most of them own swords, wear swords, have special clothing made to properly wear and show off the swords, etc....
My brother owns swords, though I doubt that they are proper swords, and he doesn’t have the stuff to wear with them.
Yesterday we were at a ren fest and watched people making knives and swords and such.
If you decide you really don’t want that chair, I know plenty of Stargate fans who might already own stuff that it would go with.
By laughingattheslut on 2008 03 17
Girl, what WERE you thinking? From a distance, it looks like funland.
But OMG, that furniture???
By Absurdist on 2008 03 17
Chick- I feel ya! It’s a sickness, isn’t it?
Killer, I think your idea is the best of all. I have to start looking for creative ways to get my money back from that cricut purchase!
Hello- Killer is a lover, not a fighter. No need to worry about the sword fight.
Laughing- Wow. I don’t know what to say about that other than, “really?”
Absurdist- It was fun and I guess I got caught up in the moment?
By Liz on 2008 03 17
liz, i will refrain from the gutter comment about killer being a lover with his sword. aren’t you glad i didn’t go there?
By hellohahanarf on 2008 03 17
I would totally buy cool swords if they were made available to me. I’m not sure about the Egyptian chair, but I’m sure I would have found something even more obnoxious that I just had to have.
By churlita on 2008 03 17
Swords could be useful if you need to ever “Bobbit” anyone.
By Paul on 2008 03 17
I would have gone nuts at this auction.
By dmarks on 2008 03 17
I will give you $26 dollar for that beer stein RIGHT NOW! Bam....profit. I can’t see how you can pass up this offer.
By othurme on 2008 03 17
liz dear, i’m gonna tell you the same thing i tell my mother in law when we go garage saleing. just because it’s for sale, that doesn’t mean that ~you~ have to buy it.
unless of course it’s a delightfully tacky (reproduction) egyptian chair or a trio of swords.
By heather on 2008 03 17
I have been on a field trip with my daughter to this place. The place was so tacky its scary. My personal hell was all the silk flowers that were everywhere. I swear I was laughing my ass off the entire time I was there.
By pinklady on 2008 03 18
Not only do I hang with people who own swords, several of them also wear kilts sometimes.
If they see you wearing the same tartan pattern as theirs they might come over and ask you some questions, and then they might tell you that you aren’t supposed to be wearing that pattern since you aren’t in their family.
By laughingattheslut on 2008 03 19
I have decided to devote my free time to Cricutting. This auction stuff is dangerous. And, since I don’t knwo what tartan pattern I should wear, I think it’s safer for me to stick to what I do know. Cutting paper.
By Liz on 2008 03 19
Well, one of my friends has died. So now the question is going around, are the guys supposed to wear kilts, and if they do which swords are they supposed to wear?
By laughingattheslut on 2008 03 25
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By Clifford Solis on 2008 11 12
Your description of McGee Castle is spot on. Probably the best that I have ever read. My wife and I visited there about 5 years ago and came away with the same impression - white trash Playboy mansion. Did you happen to catch all the one-way glass in the bedrooms. All I can say is that if you ever stayed there in the past and had in “activity” with your significant other, that shit is on film somewhere in this world. Good review!
By Big John on 2009 12 18
thanks
By mbremje rinore on 2010 01 08
Man that Egyptian chair is so funky! You don’t see many of those about, it’s
a little weird though.
Wall Decals
By william on 2010 09 21
Everyone might be convincing you to try the more fancy and expensive design, but does not necessarily mean its better. Pick a design that suits you and your profession. For businesspersons you do not have go all artistic. A business is a serious and respectable task so print a business card deserving of that image.business cards
By business cards on 2010 10 14
On the other hand, when you pay excess taxes on your incomes, the government will hold your money for at least a year before giving you the tax refund. Take note that there are no interests forthcoming with your money as used by government. Now, how unfair can that be?Stock Update
By Stock Update on 2010 10 19
Went to visit Castle at Christmas probably the year before he died. I expected to come out with this Amazing Christmas Spirit. Instead it was as if I had run through a Freaky Haunted house. Maybe he should have done Halloween instead of Christmas. Anyway the Guy was rude. Could tell he had major issues. Heard the Castle is still up for sale. Hummmm wonder Why??
By Linda Lott on 2010 12 17