Taxing

The following post was originally posted at Killer Rants blogger version on Saturday, April 07, 2007.

Liz is kinda sorta happy to contribute:

When you study ancient civilizations you learn about the tributes that the common people paid to the king and the king’s guards. You find out that taxes have been around even longer Larry King, which seems impossible but is true. I try to mark all historical events as “pre” and “post” Larry.

Wasn’t it Franklin who said, “There are two certain things in life. Death and taxes.”? He left out asshole, but that’s a whole other rant.

Taxes serve obvious purposes, but what I’m getting taxed seems extreme because there appears to be little accountability on how the money is spent. The IRS has a clever way of disguising this shafting. They call it a refund.

I did my taxes yesterday and had a severe case of Intaxication; Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with. Once I saw that a cool $1500 was coming my way, I made all sorts of plans, including a real vacation and a shiny new dishwasher. Then I thought about it and a stream of profanity came from my pure lips.

I get to spend about 70% of my money the way I want to, with around 30% going to taxes. Even though I’m doing 100% of the work. I am the government’s sugar daddy. This pisses me off. Do sugar daddies have a say in how their money gets spent or do they simply give an allowance? I need to know in order to best maintain my role. If Congress is my bitch, I need the protocol on how to treat ‘em. And I think I should get to stay in any congressional office I want to when I visit Washington. I’m paying for it. A couch will do. And a foot rub.

Unrelated but always relevant, I have noticed that as I age my standards of good looking have dramatically dropped. When I was a kid I found the following people disgusting looking: Luke Duke, Bea Aurthur, Alan Alda, and Rhoda. Now 35, these people aren’t mutants. Hell, Luke Duke is HOT and Rhoda is actually pretty. What is the lowering of standards called? Hotollerance? Poor vision? I now also think Stephen Colbert is fine, when I know that at 9 I would have simply thought he looked like someones dad. Yes. I said FINE.

How about you? Was there any one you thought horribly ugly as a child that you now think, “You know, with enough drinks in me I might...”?

•   Comments(0)    Posted by liz on 06/30 at 05:53 PM
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