Shut up and Strip

It seems that every year my passion for smoking increases. I think the medical term for this condition is “full-fledged addict”, but I’m no doctor and hence hesitate to be too hard on myself. It’s strange that more doctors don’t try and encourage me to quit smoking. They’ll make a comment like, “You know, smoking isn’t good for you,” and then leave it at that. It is with no more passion than if they were recommending a new brand of juice but with much less passion than if they were recommending a movie.

The worst thing about smoking aside from lung cancer, emphysema, smoker’s breath, 2 AM nicotine detox, and being ridiculed by the public, is the side affect of discolored teeth. However, I have discovered the magic of Crest whitestrips and all the world is a glow with my sunny smile.

I use my teeth a lot and it’s only fair that they look their best. I’m out in public a good bit and if you ever see me on the street, chances are my mouth will be open. I talk a great deal and laugh a lot. Both with and at others. I can’t properly mock someone for tripping over a step if I’m not confident that I’m putting my best teeth forward. Maybe in the Fall, when white is out of fashion, I can quit these things, but for now I’m shooting for neon white. I want my teeth to glow in the dusk, so that should I ever get lost I am easily found.

The very best part of the Crest whitestrips is that you can smoke while using them! It’s like eating a delicious molten fudge sunday that has absolutely no calories. The smoke simply billows by my teeth, invincible in their Cresty shield, and goes straight to my lungs- just as God and R J Reynolds intended.

I love you, whitestrips. 

•   Comments(6)    Posted by liz on 08/14 at 08:30 AM
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