Our New Home

We at Killer Rants have been busy moving. I think I pulled a muscle in my back. At least that’s what I’m telling the doctor. It’s so hard to get a legal prescription for pain pills these days.

I like the new place. With a few throw pillows and some some soft alt-country playing in the background, it’s really going to feel like home. It may take me a while to figure out how to navigate this website. I’m still using two sticks that I rub together to light my cigarettes. You can imagine how pumped that makes my arms. Bending my typing fingers in a new direction can prove cumbersome. Please bear with me as I learn.

I caught you admiring our new banner. Nice, huh? Nice except for the little noticed fact that I look like I have club hands. That would make me great fun to take to sporting events. I’d always toss up my gigantic finger in the #1 sign. If any sports team opted to make their team color “flesh”, I’d apply for a job as mascot. I’d be a shoe-in. Costume ready.

I’m hoping that Killer will take the time to explain to you what all the little buttons over there and up yonder mean. I’d gladly do it, but some of the furniture isn’t placed right. I have my priorities straight. Killer does not. Already I’ve found his dirty underwear inside the refrigerator.  gulp

Jester, you and Dan did a fantastic job with the site. Me and my eleven fingers have never looked better. Thanks for all of your hard work. And thanks to you, too, blog reader, for coming to the house warming. I hope you’ll come back when you can stay longer. 

  • Wow!  I am officially the first person to leave a legitimate comment on the new site.  Although, in honesty, we have not told anyone else yet, so I guess it is cheating, but still.  I WIN!

    By Killer on 2007 07 24

  • Actually, I think Liz left the first legitimate comment when she said, “I LOVE IT” on one of the test posts.

    Not to split hairs here or anything.

    I’m glad that you like the new place, Liz. Soon enough it’s going to look like you’ve been here all along. All the pillows will be in just the right place, there will be the faint smell of beer and Febreze in the air and coasters on the coffee table.

    Now you have no excuses for not linking things, it’s just at the click of a button.smile

    By jester on 2007 07 26

  • The place looks great!

    By celebrate woo-woo on 2007 07 26

  • Welcome to your new home guys. Glad to see you are enjoying you new design. Jester does some good work.

    By Topncal on 2007 07 27

  • Yeah, about those fingers...ever think of a gay porn career? You could be the stand in that they shoot without the face shots and the, um, pardon me for the lack of tact, but receiver would love you forever I’m sure. Not the first thing that popped into my mind after reading your post, I promise!

    By nurseyag on 2007 07 27

  • So you all moved up to the penthouse of blogs.. Nice very nice… So how long do you think it will take before one of you starts talking about Killers balls..?

    By babybull40 on 2007 07 27

  • Jester:
    That comment didn’t count, it was to one of those latin posts.
    I fell asleep here the other day and woke up covered in throw pillows and cat hair.

    woo-woo:
    Thanks again.

    Topncal:
    Thanks for great job you guys did.

    Nurseyag:
    I also thought Liz would do great in porn also.

    Babybull40:
    We like to keep the ball talk surprising and unexpexted.

    Liz:
    Sorry I answered on your post.  I was bored.

    By Killer on 2007 07 27

  • Dudes! It looks fuckin’ awesome! Jester and Dan rocked it for ya! I’m totally impressed and just a little jealous.
    -Mel

    By Mel-O-Drama on 2007 07 27

  • how come liz’s post was down all low and ‘at?  killer got some kind of pull because he stopped at jester’s last week?  stomp your feet, liz.  get your posts up at the top of the page like killer.  you ain’t no second class citizen!

    honestly, though...i am loving the new design.  looks fanfuckentastic.  welcome home!

    By hellohahanarf on 2007 07 27

  • Liz, your side definitely has more ambiance than Killer’s.  And smells better, too.

    Welcome to your new home!

    By Roadchick on 2007 07 27

  • ohh yummy! who makes your candles for you? i love this place! i know how hard moving can be so i ‘borrowed’ some of j’s pain pills and stocked up on throw pillows in every color for you. (i wasn’t sure which colors to get so i just grabbed two of each)

    once again. awesome job guys! i’m liking the new place very much. a tad jealous too but i’ll get over it. grin

    By heather on 2007 07 27

  • Thanks for the nice comments. It could totally be my fault that my post is below Killers. i haven’t quite figured out how to make this thing work for me. It’s not like titties, which do all the work on their own.

    By Liz on 2007 07 27

  • The biggest problem is, Jester, Dan and I, don’t see Liz’s side lower than mine.  We all use Apple computers.  We don’t run Internet Explorer, but instead opt for the much better Firefox browser.  The problem appears to be just in IE.

    We are working to correct the issue.

    In the meantime, if the other 95% of the world could quit using shitty non-Apple computers, or just switch to Firefox, our life would be easier.

    By Killer on 2007 07 30

  • you tell my boss to give me a non-apple machine and i will happily comply.  until then, bite me coz i’m stuck with this company hp.

    what?  what’s that you say?  you think i need to have access to the internet at home? 

    you are right.  but i still won’t break down and do it.  you can’t make me.

    By hellohahanarf on 2007 07 30

  • ::::It’s not like titties, which do all the work on their own.:::

    I won’t spend half as much time staring at it as I do them either. No matter HOW awesome the design is.

    BD

    By briliantdonkey on 2007 07 30

  • It’s actually even more maddening than that… it’s just appearing in IE 6. Other versions of IE looks ok. IE 7 especially looks like it should. (Why hasn’t everyone upgraded yet?)

    In order for me to fix it, I have to make a change, then order a screen shot that takes anywhere from 30 mins to an hour to get from browsershots.org.

    It would be much easier if I still had a crappy old pc with an out of date browser to look through.

    By jester on 2007 07 31

  • whatever yinz did worked...yesterday liz was right up there where she should be.  i’m loving the new look.  incredible job by all involved.

    By hellohahanarf on 2007 07 31

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Recent Comments

  • mmo said

    HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE! smile ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir

  • heather said

    in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well. smile

  • hello haha narf said

    i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on.  of course i thought of you.  and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!

    miss you and killer.  hope all is well with you both.

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