Ommmmm…. Balance
I’m not a believer in what I’ve been introduced to as astrology. I will sometimes read my horoscope, which usually mentions a rising moon somewhere and commands that I forgive my lover for his aloof attitude of late. Sometimes my horoscope will tell me what I HAVE done, which I find pretentious. An example of this is today’s horoscope:
You have let go of an old grudge—and today, that forgiveness really pays off! Whether the other parties involved are ready to reconcile, or you’re just finally ready to move on with your life, things are sweet.
I hate when my horoscope uses an exclamation mark.
One thing that IS true about my star sign is my obsession with balance. I am a Libra, which is represented by scales and ruled by equality. When I was a kid if my left foot was stepped on, I would ask that the person also step on my right. I have to have things symmetrical or I feel unsettled.
I think my body has taken this too far. I’ve noticed for the last several years that I can predict when a new zit is going to pop up. If I have a zit on the left side of my face, there is an 80% chance that I will get a zit on the right side of my face in that same location within the week. Isn’t that weird? And unfortunate?
I used to work with a woman that I called ‘Pig in a Blanket’ because, well, it was fitting. She had a very flat ass, almost concave. One of her ass cheeks was several inches shorter than her other one. She would wear tight spandex pants that accentuated this flaw. Kim pointed it out to me at a Christmas party, and after all I could do was stare at this woman’s ass. How do you walk around like that?! Knowing that your ass is asymmetrical yet flaunting it to the world?
It’s a bold statement about giving up on the things that matter in life.
Comments(4) 
Posted by liz on 12/29 at 09:18 AM-
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- mmo said
HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE!
ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir
- heather said
in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well.
- hello haha narf said
i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on. of course i thought of you. and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!
miss you and killer. hope all is well with you both.
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
more like how did she walk around work in tight spandex in the first place. sheesh, what is wrong with her? i’d like to but her mirror, because she obviously thought she looked good.
By hellohahanarf on 2007 12 29
BUY. i would like to buy her mirror.
ok, no more commenting after all that bailey’s in my coffee.
ugggh.
By hellohahanarf on 2007 12 29
She DID think she looked good. She was very overweight but would wear a bikini. She’d also lift up her shirt a lot to show you her breast reduction- which had happened like 2 years earlier. She had her belly button pierced too and liked to show that as well. She was smart, but liked to act dumb and she was very, very lazy.
By Liz on 2007 12 30
She sounds like quite a catch. Who doesn’t want an overweight, belly pierced lazy chick with an asymmetrical ass?
By churlita on 2007 12 31