“Nigger Hank” and the “Cracker”
Please. Let me explain.
A friend of mine, the modern yet old-school white boy that he is, recently traveled on business and took an extra day or two off work to explore the country side of the northern west coast region. He was in a rural area, enjoying a part of the world he had never seen. He told me that where he was, “there are no niggers except 1- and that’s Nigger Hank. Nigger Hank who introduces himself that way.” Much like a character out of Blazing Saddles might.
We were in a public place when he was telling me this story. Now you tell me, is it just me, or is this NOT a way to be discrete when using a racial slur?
HIM: (loudly) Out there, they just don’t have any (whispers) niggers. (loudly) I mean, they have some Mexicans and a few Asians and lots of white people, but you can’t find a (whispers) nigger (loudly) out there to save your life. Except for Nigger Hank. But Nigger Hank calls himself that. Can you believe that? He’s the only (whispers) nigger (loudly) in Washington State and he knows it. And he calls himself that. Don’t that beat all? But I met him in a bar. And he was drunk. So maybe he doesn’t call himself that all the time.
Ok. It would take me all night to explain MY view of using the word “nigger”, and I’m going to avoid doing that here. But I will say that I don’t think my friend’s comments, even though they were not meant to be derogatory toward anyone specifically, were, at the very minimum, inappropriate for lunch conversation in a public place. To tell the story, he had to use the word- much like I have to use the word as I relay the story to you- but he never distinguished between ‘Nigger’ as part of Hank’s self-selected name and ‘nigger’ as a reference to the man. It shows a lot of insensitivity to use that word and he knows it, or else he wouldn’t have lowered his voice during select parts of the conversation.
I do not approve.
Now, here’s the flip side of this issue.
A friend of mine’s sister, Karen, is a white lady living in Pennsylvania although she’s from Mississippi and lived in Mississippi for the first 40 years of her life. She’s single and is involved with a lot of dating programs- meaning she uses Match.com and goes on blind dates, and is in some sort of singles club. She’s extremely nice and intelligent and, at 50, has seen and done a lot with her life.
She had a blind date with a guy who kept referring to her as a ‘cracker’. He would say things like, ”I can’t believe I’m meeting a real, honest to God cracker and I’m out on a date with her!” and “The waiter brought bread, but I’m sure I could get you some crackers, if you’d like!” He’d laugh at his wit. She would fume. She told him that she didn’t appreciate being called a “cracker” and asked him to stop. He made several more references and she told him that she wasn’t a ‘cracker’ just because she was from the south. Again, she asked him to stop. He wouldn’t believe that she wasn’t a racist- after all, she had a southern accent.
Lumping people into a “derogatory” group simply because of the color of their skin or the accent in their voice only shows your ignorance. Guess what? All gay men don’t want to have sex with 12 year old boys! All black people are not uneducated thieves! All Christians aren’t holy-rolling nut jobs! All people from Mississippi aren’t illiterate racists! As challenging as I find it to believe, all Nascar fans aren’t idiots and all politicians aren’t evil!
I’m really lucky to have some diversity in my life. Two of my best friends are black. Two of my best friends are gay. One of my best friends is an ‘extreme’ Christian. I also have a 72-year old Buddhist friend. I have several friends that watch Nascar. And almost all of my friends are from Mississippi- and very few of those friends are ‘crackers’. They’re nuts, but not crackers!
I don’t know what it’s going to take to get the flavors in the melting pot to merge, but I’m happily doing my part.
Your thoughts? :D
Comments(10) 
Posted by liz on 09/24 at 10:25 AM-
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- mmo said
HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE!
ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir
- heather said
in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well.
- hello haha narf said
i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on. of course i thought of you. and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!
miss you and killer. hope all is well with you both.
- jessica said
Great blog - at times you make it sound all exciting and I wish I could be there.I thoroughly enjoyed on reading the article.I think , it should be a great trip for you.
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
It’s good to hear that you have an extreme Christian friend in your real life. Now I won’t worry so much that I’m not doing my job here.
If you’re still going to hell, it’s probably your real life friend’s fault more so than mine.
So did the guy not know that Karen was supposed to be a cracker before the date? Or did he already know that and just went on the date so later he could brag about being so brave when he was with the cracker? Sometimes you can talk just like Jeff Foxworthy, but it just doesn’t come across on the computer. And sometimes you can talk just like Jeff Foxworthy and still like black people and all that and really not act like a cracker at all.
It’s the crackers who wear suits and don’t talk with an accent that you have to worry about.
Well, it’s bad to have a bad first date. But it’s worse to go on a lot of dates and get attached and then find out the guy’s favorite word is something like cracker.
By laughingattheslut on 2007 09 24
The story would have been much funnier if your friend’s name was Polly or conversely if the guy’s name was Paulie.
As for doing your part for the melting pot, inviting them all together for parties is the way to go. World harmony through drunken booze fests is my motto. Liberal usage of video cameras make sure everyone keeps to their new found harmony after these events as well.
By dave on 2007 09 24
Laughing,
NEVER worry about me. I’ve got it covered.
Dave,
I love your idea. I only wish I had thought of it! Nice.
By liz on 2007 09 24
“All gay men don’t want to have sex with 12 year old boys!”
Of course not. I would never go any younger than 17.
Ok…
15.
But he was VERY MATURE FOR HIS AGE.
Don’t judge me. :D
(for the record, I haven’t been with a 15 year old since I was 17.)
By jester on 2007 09 25
i really hope karen didn’t stay long...hope she cut her losses and left his ass early.
dave and or liz, i’m eagerly awaiting my invite to a melting pot party. does it involve pot? does it involve a hot tub?
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 25
Actually, to BE a cracker, you have to be born a poor, preferably rural, nearly backwoods white in FLORIDA.
If memory serves correctly - those are the only poor, white southerners that can be technically called crackers.
And, in an ideal world (150 years ago) they were the folks that drove cattle across the swamps by cracking long bullwhips, hence the term “cracker”.
Rockboy, being born a poor white child in the Gret Stet of Florida, is a Cracker.
And damn proud of it, bless his heart.
By Roadchick on 2007 09 25
I call myself po’ white trash, but that’s only because it’s true.
I had a woman I didn’t know whispering about all the Mexicans taking over the towne where I went to high school, and I was amazed. Even if my daughters weren’t half-Mexican I’d be offended.
By churlita on 2007 09 25
churlita jsut hit one of my pet peeves. the phrase “white trash” always irks me. how often do you hear the phrase “black trash” or “mexican trash” being uttered? it is like if you say “black” or “mexican” or whatever the trash part is simply assumed. but if you say “white” you have to specify the difference between “white” and “white trash.”
yes i’m white. red hair and blue eyes. very white. irish and polish. (stupid drunk...ha!) but still. i just never understood the phrase white trash.
k. i’m done rambling now. thank you.
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 25
Yes, the Mexicans are taking over the town. That’s fine. That just means that we have better food nearby when we want to eat out.
It’s just that they need to speak English while they are taking over, and more and more of them don’t.
Actually, those are probably just annoying Americans who happened to have brown skin. All the people that I know for sure are Mexicans speak English. If they didn’t speak English they wouldn’t be able to talk to me and tell me that they are actually from Mexico.
Most of the trash I know are white, but that’s probably just because I know more white people. I didn’t really know any black trash, except for the boyfriends and ex-boyfriends of some girls I used to work with. They were trash, and everybody seemed to know it, but somehow that didn’t seem to prevent them from getting dates.
I’d just as well call everyone lowlifes instead of white trash. But I picked up the term again after the homewrecking-slut came along.
By laughingattheslut on 2007 09 25
I don’t think I’d get offended by being called a “cracker” because I’m not really all that sure what that implies. In Karen’s case, however, I would be annoyed. Especailly after asking that he stop calling me that… or anything I asked him to stop calling me. I thought “crackers” were from Georgia, but Florida may be correct. Same with “honkey” if people still use that term. I’m not sure what a “honkey” is, so in my own ignorance, I wouldn’t be offended. However, call me “middle aged” and you’d best be wearing a cup. My foot is going straight for your crotch.
By liz on 2007 09 25