I Live With An Animal

I have realized something that has made me worry that I have become a stereotype.

I am a single woman and I love my cats.

You know this already. I know this already. So, what’s the revelation, you ask?

Yesterday I got disgusted and disappointed because Sneaker behaved in a rude and unacceptable manner. I didn’t speak to him for 5 hours afterward. When I did speak to him, I said things like, “You are so ghetto. You disgust me with your total disregard for the rules of civilization. Your rebellion is senseless and foul. Mister, you need your attitude put in check.” Of course he ignored me.

I think Leon, the good cat, got into a nest of young sparrows. I heard the commotion and when I was leaving for work saw a still living tiny baby bird at my doorstep. I put both cats inside and hoped for the best. When I got home yesterday, the baby was gone. Relief. Then later I discovered different dead baby in the driveway. I disposed of this bird, which is a chore I wish someone else would do, and released the cats to go outside. When I let them back in, Sneaker had a bird in his mouth.

I suspect this is the baby from the doorstep. It was half way down his throat, so there was no saving it. I tried to get the cat to cough up the bird but this did not work. Not only did it not work, but this attempt was met with fierce growling. I chased him through the house with a wad of paper towels in one hand and a grocery sack in the other. Sneaker ran under furniture. I was shaking chairs at him, frantically yelling that he release the prey, insisting that he obey my command. I grabbed him by the neck. He struggled and moaned in an unnecessarily and seriously predatory way. I opened all doors and pleaded with him to at least go outside. Every time I would check on him there was less and less of the bird visible. I was disgusted. Sneaker was behaving like an animal.

Leon got very upset at all of the commotion. He kept tracing a path around my ankles, begging me to settle down. I couldn’t. Here was this cat, Sneaker, devouring a bird as if he was starving; as if he didn’t have access to Iams cat food twice a day and treats every other night. He was aggressive in his munching. He had a look in his eyes like you see on the Discovery channel. He was ‘in the moment’ and had taken 5 steps back on the evolutionary trail.

Here is the picture I submit as evidence. image
Those ARE feathers beside the animal. When Sneaker was finished, this is all that remained to be cleaned up.

Look how content and satisfied he is.

Animal.

I’m so disappointed.

  • I hate it when cats act like common animals.

    By churlita on 2008 05 29

  • Ewwww!  Gross!  So gross! 

    This is Reason No. 231 that my two boys (cats, of course) STAY INSIDE.

    You know they leave the animals they catch on the doorstep as a present for you.  Leon left you a prize and Sneaker couldn’t resist it’s snackiness.  It’s still gross, though.

    By Gwen on 2008 05 29

  • Seriously, this is the highest form of love your cat knows how to give you.  My cat has brought me home all types of things: snakes, moles, mice, birds, rabbits, grasshoppers.

    BUT, I learned a long time ago to get one of those “grabbers” and pick up the remains and dispose of them properly.

    You should praise Sneaker and Leon are just telling you the only way they know how that you are a Top Cat in their book.  Never yell at them because they will think they did something wrong. 

    I’m not happy about most of the stuff my cat brings home but I always tell her what a good kitty she is and then I have to wait for her to go inside before I get the grabber, the largest trash bag I can find, and dispose of the evidence.

    This is a good thing. (lol)

    By Mattie on 2008 05 29

  • You’re officially a crazy cat lady.

    Please line up for your unmatched slippers, dishevel your hair a bit and start looking at your neighbors with suspicion.

    That is all.

    By dave on 2008 05 29

  • Sorry Dave but to be crazy cat lady you have to have at least 3 cats, two slippers that are not the same style, disshevelled hair with rollers in it, and has neighbors running past your place in terror.

    By I.P. on 2008 05 29

  • Shit.  By that definition, I’M the crazy cat lady.

    By Gwen on 2008 05 29

  • I don’t let my cat outside for just this reason.  I’ll be twitching and shuddering the rest of the evening thinking about how to clean up baby birds.  A big girly “ew”.

    By abroad on 2008 05 29

  • I’m SOOO glad somebody else called you out on your “Crazy Cat Lady” status. 
    Even if there was a magic number of cats, as I.P. claims, once you officially BLOG about your “cat troubles” all bets are off. 

    You might as well admit to having twenty cats.  No one is going to believe this two cat bullshit any longer.

    By Killer on 2008 05 29

  • Cats evoke passion! Eight comments in less than 12 hours. Even a nun got in on the action!

    This story is kind of gross. Sorry about that.

    By liz on 2008 05 30

  • Don’t they offer sparrow-flavored cat food by now?

    By dmarks on 2008 05 30

  • The 5 hour silent treatment never works on Speedbump. Guilt trips don’t work. Pleading doesn’t work. She could care less that she disgusts me on a semi-regular basis.

    It’s like living with a teenager.

    By Roadchick on 2008 05 30

  • He looks a lot like a cat I used to have.  My baby.  I miss him.

    He would catch mice, which would be fine, and rats, which would be okay if he’d finish eating them. 

    But he would also catch the lizards that would would rather be out eating the bugs in the garden.  And also one time he brought in a mouse that he’d caught outside, and then it turned out not to be dead and he let it loose in the house.  Not so good.

    I’m starting to have a mouse problem here.  Maybe I could borrow Sneakers?

    By laughingattheslut on 2008 05 30

  • you make me incredibly thankful that i have two dogs.  only once did they bring me a present.  why the bunny rabbit was in my yard in the first place is beyond me, but i sobbed trying to pick his little warm body up.  times like those it would be nice to live with someone else.  but really?  it only happened once so i am still good.

    By hello haha narf on 2008 05 31

  • D-Marks,

    Nice observation, but no. They have something called turkey gibblet, which I think is as close as they get to ‘sparrow’.

    Chick,

    Ha! I love Speedbumb and I adore your teenager comment.

    Laughing,

    If he keeps this up, you can HAVE Sneaker.

    Hello,

    Your reply is RIGHT on the money. This has only happened once, so I am still good too.

    By liz on 2008 05 31

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