
I know a few janitors. I usually find janitors to be pretty cool people, so if you don’t know your local custodian I recommend that you get to know him immediately. Janitors usually have wonderful weekend stories and like to live quietly outside the law. They also usually eat really weird food and like to talk about it. They are often impressed by your ability to find information on the Internet and are the first to help you out when something heavy needs lifting.
Hanging with the janitors is fun for a variety of reasons. I think it’s the Kool cigarettes and life experience. It’s like listening to a blues record without all the bitching.
This one janitor I know has a lady ‘on the side’. Now, you should know that all of what I’m about to write comes from a very reliable source, but is not something I would swear to in a court of law. However, the story will work a lot better if you will just accept this as fact.
Periodically this janitor will go and visit said lady during his lunch break. I don’t know if these visits cost or if they are a free service. He’s been doing this for years- long before I was aware of his prowess and his way with the ‘chickens’. I think in some ways, over time, he became addicted to the occassional naughty mid-day sex jaunt. That happens.
Recently his vehicle was out of commission but his need for afternoon delight was not. Arrangements had to be made if the redevous were to continue, but he obviously could not ask the lady to come and pick him up. He also couldn’t ask one of his coworkers for a ride. Affairs aren’t secret if your coworkers are involved.
I think what this janitor did is amazing and ballsy. Very smooth, very Hong Kong Phooey.
He got his FATHER IN LAW to take him to his girlfriend’s house.
Yep. The father of his wife took him for WEEKS to his girlfriend’s shack and then back to work.
I think anyone who can manage that kind of magic deserves a gold star. I’m still amazed. How do you approach that topic with your father in law? Where does Pops go while you’re in there banging some other woman while his daughter is at work? How do you finesse that? How do you play that?
And people assume janitors are stupid. How many of YOU have YOUR in-laws taking you to your sugar shack on lunch break?
EXACTLY. Me either.
The next time you see someone pushing a mop, I hope you’ll remember what else he might be pushing and ask him for a moment of his time. If you hang around long enough I doubt you’ll be disappointed by what you learn. You might be shocked, but not disappointed.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE!
ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir
in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well.
i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on. of course i thought of you. and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!
miss you and killer. hope all is well with you both.
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Well, until I got to the third paragraph, I was going to agree with you that they are often nice interesting people.
I guess that instead I’m just going to remind people to be nice to them, cause they have all of the keys.
By laughingattheslut on 2008 01 31
Killer,
DUDE! I just saw this! Where is the gloating I’ve come to expect from you?!?!
CONGRATULATIONS to Biologisvensk and Killer for winning MTC #6!!!
By liz on 2008 01 31
I strive to be a Janitor one day. For all the reasons listed above.
By othurme on 2008 02 01
i always talk to the janitor. but never have i met anyone, janitor or otherwise, that had their fil take them for afternoon delight. that story is phoneomenal. i’m gonna repeat it. won’t make it my own, though. that guy deserves credit! (well, and i have never b een married, but still, great story!)
By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 01
I agree with your assessment of the maintenance-inclined. I can’t tell you what my janitor does for me because it’s illegal, but it’s a valuable service.
It isn’t sex.
By Gwen on 2008 02 01
Mr. Killer: I am so glad to know that you are not Gay! Man, I couldn’t take it if you were. I’ve been reading some of this stuff and man I’m like these cats are krazy!!! This due Jester posting pictures of other men is the most sickening thing I’ve seen so far this year!!! I hope that I never get expose to anything like that ever again.
Any person who allows persons of the same sex to touch them in that way is off of it! How in the hell would a man allow some other man to suck him off? How in the hell would a man allow another man to stick him in his “Dukey Shoot?” That has to be some ranchy stuff. Who in the hell would “toss somebody’s salad?” Who would put their dam tongue inside a man’s nasty ass?
These cats are depraved and sick. Jester looks like an over bloated whale, and yet he expects someone to stick him in his ass!!! How gross can one be? I’m sick just talking about it, let me get the hell out of here!!! What you dudes need are sexy, fine as hell Asian Women like we have in beautiful Hong Kong!!! No man’s nasty decrepit ass can compete with a nice, hot juicy pussy!!! No way!!!
HK
By Hong Kong on 2008 02 01
Seriously, this janitor deserves some sort of brass balls award.
And Hong Kong aka Man’s Man aka Numb Nutted Idiot deserves to have his ass diddled by a giant redneck named Bubba who’s got a beer can for a dick.
I’m just saying.
By jester on 2008 02 01
Why is Hong Kong insulting Killer on Liz’s side of the blog?
By laughingattheslut on 2008 02 02
Othurme, Here’s hoping that one day your dream will come true!
Hello, Feel free to share this story. I too find it amazing.
Gwen, No code needed. Understood.
Jester, I know. BRASS.
Laughing, I’m staying out of the conversation between HK and Jester. I don’t know how Jester’s blog- and a comment for killer on this post-came to pass, but I’m not interested in going there.
By liz on 2008 02 02
Thanks for the shout out on the win Liz. It is a CO-win, so I am going to have to share the glory. I will be writing in the next one, but ineligible for winning.
I like the janitor. He sounds like a fun-loving fellow who knows the importance of a good afternoon delight.
By Killer on 2008 02 03