Choc it up to Insomnia, Ted

Last week I worked this strange schedule where I would get home anywhere between 1 and 4 AM. Even though I had 4 days to recover, I never found the discipline to make myself get out of bed before 10. Yesterday I didn’t get up until 2:30, so today I had to use a vacation day. It was 2 AM and was watching a show on crucifixion. I knew I wasn’t going to work.

Around 1 in the morning I was craving coffee. Instead, I decided to make myself a cup of less caffeine fueled hot chocolate. I had bought some Swiss Miss this winter and never got around to opening the box. I heated the water, opened the packet, poured in the mix… When was the last time you made instant hot chocolate with marshmallows?
image The marshmallows are tiny- as in freakishly small. It looked like I had 14 baby teeth floating on top of my hot chocolate. And they aren’t even really marshmallows. They aren’t puffy and they don’t don’t taste right. The chocolate was good but I couldn’t get past Chucky’s teeth. I thought about putting them under my pillow and seeing if they might be traded for some much needed cash, but then I would have to wash my sheets so decided against it. Doing laundry isn’t worth the buck-fifty these sad teeth would have brought.

Since I have the day off, I’m going to wash my car. The entire car is yellow from pollen. A strange thing happens when pollen rests on top of bird shit. It looks like Trixie has boils. Sorry to provide that imagery, but I like to share gross thoughts. It helps me purge myself of them.

I have found a website that the thinkers out there might find interesting. It’s called Ted. I haven’t been able to spend as much time as I’d like exploring this site, but I did watch the video on Synesthesia. In the video, the neurologist explains why some people taste sounds or see numbers in different colors. What a cool ‘disorder’! I don’t have any special talents and, although I’m not certain this is the talent I would want, I think it would be really neat to feel what these people experience. Like most of us, I would like to have a super power. Some people think I have pretty good linguistic skills and I am pretty intuitive. And I confess that I do have pretty good luck- but those aren’t so much powers as they are slightly elevated skills or simply luck itself. I want a real superpower! Something like mind reading or being able to fly. I mean, if I could be Samantha from Bewitched, life would be so fucking awesome. Instead, I have to clean my own house and drive to get somewhere. Sigh.

One day soon I hope to post pix of my Egyptian chairs and table in their proper places in my home. I watched the opening 15 minutes of The 10 Commandments on Saturday night and saw my EXACT chair in Pharaoh’s house. He was even sitting in it- like it was his throne- which I imagine it was. Awesome. And I have two of them. Double awes. I’ve had several friends over and all have admired my auction purchases. How can you not? I mean, as garish as these chairs are, they kick ass. And since I don’t have the superpower of ass-kicking, I have to supplement somehow. 

  • oh liz, i used to pray that i would be the child of samantha that somehow got mixed up at the hospital.  i would have given anything to have samantha’s powers.  to this day i still use the names samantha or sabrina as my aliases.
    although i probably should not have told you my alias names.  kind of kills the entire point, ya know?

    By hello haha narf on 2008 03 24

  • I assign gender to colors.  Am I gifted?

    By Gwen on 2008 03 24

  • Hello,

    I know! I totally wanted to be Tabitha when I was a little girl! Tabitha and Wonder Woman.

    Gwen,

    You are. Let me guess:

    Brown= male
    Green= male
    Yellow= female
    Purple= female
    Orange= female
    Navy= male
    White= female
    Gray and Black? Gender neutral?

    By liz on 2008 03 24

  • liz,
    i didn’t like little tabitha’s powers.  and her dad was a dick.  (ha!) am i correct that sabrina was samantha’s twin sister? 

    oh yeah, i wanted a twin, too.

    can’t believe i will also admit this one, but i also wanted to be wonder woman so badly that sometimes i would turn around in circles, hoping for the transformation.  loved wonder woman!

    why don’t you come up to tequilacon and we’ll drink too much while trying to avoid spinning in circles?

    By hello haha narf on 2008 03 24

  • Sabrina was Sam’s cousin- she was the ‘bad’ one, who was always chasing after Darrin.

    I did the spin too. Everyday for like 2 years.

    Where is this tequilacon? I doubt I make it, but I’m interested in knowing more!

    By liz on 2008 03 24

  • cousin!  that’s it!  man, i loved her.  although why either of those women liked darrin is beyond me.

    tequilacon is a gaggle of bloggers (maybe 50 or so) heading to philly for one hell of a weekend.  email me (hello at midnightcliff dot com) for more info.  i’m really excited about going!

    By hello haha narf on 2008 03 24

  • Uh, ladies - hate to burst the Bewitched bubble but the cousin’s name was Serena - and she TOTALLY kicked ass. That was who I wanted to be. Not Samantha who was silly enough to marry such a dull Dick and then not be able to use her powers. I mean - WTF???

    By Roadchick on 2008 03 24

  • You’re right, chick. Sabrina was the TEENage witch.

    I never liked Sam’s mom, Endora, though. I always thought she was a bitch and I hated that she would pop in unannounced. That’s one of my pet peeves to this day.

    By liz on 2008 03 24

  • thanks for setting me straight, roadchick.  i never watched the teenage witch so i wonder where i feel in love with that name when i was younger.  hmmmm.

    oh, and endora was a total bitch.

    By hellohahanarf on 2008 03 24

  • Serena deserved her own spinoff.

    By dmarks on 2008 03 25

  • Endora scared me because she was so mean.  And Tabitha was rotten.  I always felt really bad for the nosy neighbor lady . . . she was right and no one believed her!

    You’re mostly right, but purple, gray and black are male and white is neutral.  And it gets more complicated when you start analyzing shades of the primary colors.

    By Gwen on 2008 03 25

  • I would love to have a real super power. Being able to tell when my daughters are lying is mine and it’s not very much fun. Sigh.

    By churlita on 2008 03 25

  • I always wanted to be Aquaman and be able to talk to fish, but now that I’m older I realize they really would not be very good conversationalists.

    By killer on 2008 03 25

  • I find it interesting that of all the topics this post addressed, super powers is the only topic that got any play. Since I wrote this, I’ve been addicted to TED.

    By liz on 2008 03 25

  • shitfuck, i forgot about ted already.  maybe that means i am too stupid to go there?  didn’t you say it was a thinkers site?

    By hellohahanarf on 2008 03 25

  • Hello,

    Don’t feel bad. You were distracted by Sebrina. You get a pass anytime Bewitched is in the conversation.

    By liz on 2008 03 25

  • lol...thanks liz.  but nope, i was right.  i’m obviously not meant for that site.  i got lost over there, then found a video described as:

    “Symbiosis.” Does it trace the birth of a human relationship, or the co-evolution of a pair of symbiotic species? That’s left for you to decide.
    http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/24

    i so didn’t get it.  and i won’t get my 15 minutes back either.  damn.

    By hellohahanarf on 2008 03 25

  • Aquaman was a bitch!  It’s all Green Lantern!

    By othurme on 2008 03 26

  • Othurme,

    I love all superheroes, but Green Lantern wasn’t any better than Aquaman. Aquaman had TALENT. Green Lantern had a ring.

    I’m just saying.

    And Wonder Woman had amazing strength and great aim, so don’t try to say it was just her and an invisible jet.

    By liz on 2008 03 26

  • Liz - At least Green Lantern didn’t smell like a day at the tide pools.

    By othurme on 2008 03 26

  • Aquaman could make the fish do whatever he wanted...too bad more bad guys didn’t try to rob ocean liners and that kind of shit.

    By killer on 2008 03 26

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    miss you and killer.  hope all is well with you both.

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