What Would Killer Do?
My blogging pal, Mayren, posted an interesting query that was thrown her way. It is meant to give the questionee an internal struggle between right and wrong, but I think it goes much deeper.
The question in question follows, and it has two parts:
Question A:What would you do if your parents and a stranger’s baby were
held hostage at gunpoint, and you were given only two possible choices.
You could either save the baby and your parents would die
immediately, OR Punch the baby as hard as you could; knowing
that the baby would die, and in doing so - Save your parents.So you’re only choices are to save the Parents or the baby....
What do you choose?
Question B:
What if you found out that the baby was Jesus?
You couldn’t tell by the typing, but I took a short break there to allow you to think of your answer. If you continued on without fully committing to your answer---Stop! Go back, you lazy bastard, and choose.
I will now give you my answer and let the debate rage on in comments.
First: One of my favorite answers from Mayren’s comments was the number of people who stated they did not actually like their parents, so they would not kill a baby to keep them alive. I got the impression that a few of them would not even show up if they got a phone call about the situation in general.
Unlike these people, I love my parents very much. They are cool people, who have done a lot for me. That being said, I would probably not punch the baby to keep them alive. As I mentioned, my parents are pretty cool, I would think they would be kind of pissed at me if I were to start punching, and killing, babies to set them free. Not to mention, a lot of people who claim they would punch a small, defenseless baby to death, probably could not go through with it. The next time you see a little kid with a doll, snatch that doll away and punch it as hard as you can. I mean a good death-worthy blow to the face. Even on a doll, the average person hesitates. If you don’t, then you probably have a few psychotic anti-social tendencies already, and once you kill the baby, you would probably go ahead and kill the kidnapper, your parents and anyone else around after you realized how good it felt. We would have to exclude you from the parent/baby death match study… maybe chalk it up to statistical anomaly.
The second part of the question really came out of nowhere. What the hell is baby Jesus doing here? After all this time of waiting for the second coming, he ends up getting snatched by some lunatic, along with my parents of all people. No offense to my folks, but I don’t think that they are going to be in the same area that Jesus chooses for a comeback.
How are we going to know it is baby Jesus anyhow? If I am going to start believing every person that claims to be Jesus, than I better stop shooing away that old, smelly guy who lives under the freeway offramp near my house.
So, in a bid to skirt controversy---Since I was not going to punch the baby when it was less Holy (probably a Muslim) I would not hit it when I realized we were standing in a manger in Bethlehem.
In a last ditch effort to save my parents, without killing baby Jesus, I would just inform the lunatic kidnapper that there is a good possibility of a few guys bearing gifts showing up momentarily to see the baby. He should wait it out and then cap those bastards instead. Gold, Frankincense and Mir, bitches! Gold, Frankincense and Mir!
Comments(16) 
Posted by killer on 09/19 at 12:01 AM-
Digg
del.icio.us
Fark
StumbleUpon
Recent Comments
- mmo said
HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE!
ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir
- heather said
in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well.
- hello haha narf said
i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on. of course i thought of you. and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!
miss you and killer. hope all is well with you both.
- jessica said
Great blog - at times you make it sound all exciting and I wish I could be there.I thoroughly enjoyed on reading the article.I think , it should be a great trip for you.
http://www.brushandfloss.com/
- snowina said
Christmas Gifts!Quality Replica Watches!
Visitors of our website can get a closer look at more than 8000 fabulous high quality watches, 5000 of which are precious Replica Watches imitating in every minute curve of luxurious and expensive watches by Rolex, Chopard, Cartier, IWC, Bvlgari, etc.
http://sites.google.com/site/rolexchoose/
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
i just figured that my parents had the chance to live their lives and would want the baby to have the same opportunity.
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 19
My parents are already dead, so if they were there, they’d probably be zombies and I’d have all those hours of video game playing to guide me in just how to kill them. Or maybe I’d just wait for them to start eating the kidnappers instead.
By churlita on 2007 09 19
Thanks for the shout out.
The question is a wierd one isn’t it?
Another interesting answer came my way today.
A male work-associate answered firstly that they
would definately punch the baby to save his parents
because his parents are near and dear to him.
His Mother has cancer and the family is tight knit
right now as it should be....
Nextly When asked if he’d still punch the baby if
it were Jesus he said: “I’d punch it harder since
from the bible we know that Jesus will return as a
full grown man- so the kid claiming to be Jesus reborn
would obviously be the Anti-Christ. The kid would have
it coming to him”
That surprised the hell out of me.
I backed away from him slowly without any sudden
movements. It’s strange to find out wierd answers
to wierd questions some times....
Have fun with it. It can be Intrigueing.
By the by i loved your answer post! Very amusing!
By Mayren on 2007 09 19
Hello:
I agree...but if the baby were ugly, that would change everything. We have too many ugly babies already.
Churlita:
Way to step up the controversy another notch. Zombie parents did not even occur to me.
Mayren:
I was hoping the guy was going to punch baby Jesus just because he did not love Jesus, but I guess he loves him too much.
By Killer on 2007 09 19
Christians love their weirdly crappy conundrums. No offense, Mayren.
By fringes on 2007 09 19
pick up “the book of questions” when you get a chance. tiny paperback. GREAT questions that fuck with your mind.
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 19
Fringes:
Why would I be offended ? None taken at all.
I think the people who posed this question as a huge
internal debate are hella funny!
It’s amusing to watch people with their internal stuggle sometimes.
wait.... does that make me cruel or just someone who likes a
good laugh?
By Mayren on 2007 09 19
This sounds like a set up for an anti-abortion rant. A set up devised by a 12 year old. Who loves the baby Jesus and hates her parents.
Jesus might appreciate being chosen for the sacrifice. In the first round he ends up sacrificed and then shows back up 3 days later. You should totally know that this is how the story is susposed to end and how the story is suspposed to go. So what if it’s a test and choosing to save the Jesus baby causes you to go straight to Hell? Then you’d feel like a total ass, wouldn’t you?
My answer depends on if the baby was screaming and crying at the time the question was raised. I hate screaming and crying but do not hate my parents.
By liz on 2007 09 19
i’d have to save the baby. my mom would kill me otherwise. for me it doesn’t change a damn thing who the kid is or isn’t. it’s strictly self preservation. either my mom goes or i do. simple as that.
By heather on 2007 09 19
Fringes:
Good to see you out and about again...praise Jebus.
Hello:
I will keep an eye out for the book.
Mayren:
it is a thin line between cruelty and humor. One that I dance all over.
Liz:
If I knew it were an anti-abortion test I would have donkey punched that little son of a bitch.
Heather:
Quit beating around the bush and kill your Mom already.
By Killer on 2007 09 19
I’d save the baby because I was never fond of my parents… until I found out it was Jesus then I’d ransom it to the Catholics.
By dave on 2007 09 20
dave:
Nice! I am not sure if any religious group would actually want a Jesus come back...that would be bad for business.
By Killer on 2007 09 20
i have an extra copy iffin ya want me to mail it to you...but then i would know where you live…
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 20
There were these two old people in the Bible who prayed everyday that they would live long enough to see Jesus. So Mary and Joseph took baby Jesus to the market or something one day, and these two old people got to see him. And then the two old people left, and I guess they went off and died happy people.
So you could pretend that your parents are these two old people. And you could tell them that you’re saving baby Jesus, and then they could die happy.
You want your parents to die happy, right?
My dad is dead, but I’m not Anita Blake, so I don’t expect to see him come back as a zombie.
And my mom would also kill me if she saw me hitting a baby.
By laughingattheslut on 2007 09 20
oh yeah, ~that’s~ gonna help my karma balance! lol
By heather on 2007 09 20
The baby would have to die. Unfortunately I am somewhat of a weakling and I don’t know if I could punch the baby hard enough to kill it. sure my parents might be mad at me but I don’t care. I love them and I need them here. Being an agnostic Jew it makes no difference to me if the baby were Jesus or not. Plus, if it were Jesus isn’t the whole point to die for others anyway?
By Natalie on 2007 09 25