Undoubtedly, This will Happen to Me, at the hands of Liz
Upon reading this article shivers ran down my spine. I have an eerie feeling that this has come very close to happening to me at Liz’s house on numerous occasions.
Man Causing Real Stink in Motel Room Gets Stabbed
AP
Thu Apr 9, 9:00 pm ET
WACO, Texas – A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said. Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer Steve Anderson said. One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said.The 35-year-old man was transported to a Waco hospital, where he was treated for what appeared to be non-life threatening injuries, Anderson said.
Jose Braule Ramirez, 33, of Houston, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, police said. He was arraigned Wednesday and was being held in the McLennan County Jail on $15,000 bond and placed on an immigration hold, according to jail records . He cannot be released, even if he posts bond, until authorities verify he is in the country legally.
A jail spokeswoman who declined to give her name said she was not allowed to release information on whether Ramirez had an attorney.
I don’t want to be inappropriate and speak of such things as flatulence in a public forum, but on rare occasions, I have been known to have some uncontrollable, and regrettable, gaseous issues at Liz’s lovely home. No accusations are intended, but I have seen her reaching for sharp objects and giving me threatening glances. I personally feel that I have NEVER flatulated in her home without remorse and only when completely necessary to avoid bodily discomfort.
I certainly have never done it maliciously and upon her complaints, I have ALWAYS ceased to do so.
I for one am outraged by this lone man’s reaction to flatulence and am praying this does not become a pandemic, or mass hysterical reaction that our often too-fast-to-react society embraces.
I am going to try to get some air time on the O’Reilly Factor to try and address my concerns
Comments(6) 
Posted by killer on 04/11 at 05:45 PM-
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Ya that’s right one needs to come to ER for emergency situations and not long term illnesses.
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I did not directly compare her little lady to a retarded kitten, but was implying that if in a battle with my balls, which are like a super ninja, it would make....okay, yes, I compared her to a retarded kitten, but I thought it would be okay, because she loves cats.
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so, you feel that it may be inappropriate to discuss flatulence in a public forum but it’s perfectly fine for your balls to be a frequent topic of discussion… interesting.
the fact (as stated by you) that you cease flatulating (is that a real word?) when she complains implies that you are able to control this bodily function. which tells me that while you know of liz’s distaste for this particular action, you continue to do so. while the maliciousness may not be conscious, it’s there. perhaps you are secretly jealous of her incredible decorating skills or her candle collection. either way, i suggest that she document each and every occurrence with video and sound for her defense attorney. i’m certian that the trial, if it goes that far, will be short, sweet and end in her favor.
By heather on 2009 04 11
I think that you have good reason to be afraid.
What you need to do is explain to Liz (and anyone else you fear might attempt this) how that stabbing a person in the wrong place could end up creating an even worse smell than the flatulence.
And you should also remind her that stabbing of any kind should be avoided in her home, since blood stains carpets, hardwood floors, couches, clothing, curtains, etc…
By laughingattheslut on 2009 04 12
JOSE IS MY HERO! I think I’m going to create a collage in his honor. Farts, when malicious and of full intent, SHOULD be punishable by stabbing. And I don’t believe you when you say you hold back. I mean, I’m sure you could fart more than you do, but when you let go, you are doing it on purpose. And it’s FOUL.
Thanks for sharing this inspiring story. And watch your back. I’ve been inspired!!
By Liz on 2009 04 13
Actually wouldn’t it be better that the offending oriface be sealers off (like a time capsule). Just duct tape the mouth, hand cuff the gas emmiter and leave him outside to explode like 4th of July fireworks. Stabbing him might release more gas.
By I.P. Freely on 2009 04 14
remind me not to engage you in a game of fart tennis at liz’s house.
By hello haha narf on 2009 04 20
I guess some of you had a shock when you saw the cover of Groomer to Groomer. One of the top groomers in the world has succumbed to cancer at a “too early” age. Liz had so much more to give our industry, so we are truly saddened by her passing. Even late fall, Liz was judging and teaching at the Florida show, though she was sick.
Liz loved to groom. It was her greatest desire and she never wanted to do anything else. How many of us can say that? Liz worked daily at her profession and competed at tons of shows. But she still loved to groom. And it showed in her work.Wound First Aid
By Wound First Aid on 2009 07 16