Is it Too Much To Ask For My Spammers To Get To Know Me Better?

Who the hell is buying “replica watches” from adds stuck into blog comments?  I really want to know.  Someone must be doing it, because I continuously get about fifty comments a day caught in my spam filter from people commenting about “replica watches” and more specifically where you can buy them.  For the record, if I wouldn’t wear a REAL Rolex, why the hell would I buy a fake one? 

There is also a large number of people offering stock tips through my blog comments.  I’m not exactly Warren Buffet.  It would probably better benefit them to pick someone who actually knew how to buy a stock.  If I was to buy even a single share in a company, let’s say in McDonald’s, I would be a total jack ass about it.  I would laminate my stock, I guess they give you some sheet of paper proclaiming your owner ship, take it to the nearest McDonald’s and demand my Apple Pie be made fresh...immediately...and smile damn it!  Don’t you see I own your ass. Then I will probably laugh like some mad man while waving my laminated single share.  If I bought a couple of thousand shares...man, I would probably just move in and sleep in that giant, e-coli infested, pit of balls in the playland.

At least the plethora of Viagra, Cialis, and penis enlargement medications seem to be a valuable product and make me think the spammers are targeting me properly.  All I am asking for is a little thought in my spamming.  Don’t just throw a bunch of shit against the wall to see what sticks.  However, if I was interested in purchasing some penile enhancing or virility inducing medications, I would not be ashamed and try to get it online.  I would proudly walk into my doctor’s office and loudly proclaim, “Doc, I’m getting some action...a lot of action...so much action that I can’t get enough erectile satisfaction to keep up with it.  You had better give me some sort of magic pill to better enable me to pound out all this sweet va-jay-jay that is being tossed at me like cheap beads at Mardi Gras.” I would then take said prescription to the biggest, busiest pharmacy around, grab a 36 pack of condoms (in assorted colors), the biggest bottle of tingling lubrication available and carry it all up to the counter to fill my prescription by puffing out my chest and saying, “Guess what I’ll be doing tonight....TWICE!”

•   Comments(13)    Posted by killer on 06/23 at 07:52 PM
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