Idiot Vernacular

The following post was originally posted at Killer Rants blogger version on Thursday, March 15, 2007

Our spending so much time together traveling around, combined with our immaturity, brought about the frequent formation of new words to describe our actions and/or derogatory remarks of one another. It has been said that when myself, Chad, Clib and Disco get together it can be very difficult for an outside person to understand what we are talking, and subsequently, giggling about. Most often this is said by Clib’s wife, Mrs. Clib.

Here is a list of some of the words/phrases we use in regular conversation with each other.

Anius: Combo of anus and genius. Refers to a person who has done something stupid, but thinks it was something great.

Cup of Soup: When you fart into your hand, or a hat, and throw it into someone else’s face.

Grump: Poop (as in, “I have to grump” or “I’m feeling a bit grumpy")

HUD house: Outhouse/Porta potty/Pit Toilet (as in, “This campground better have a HUD house, I gotta grump.”

Couch Monkey: A person who is living on your couch, usually over staying their welcome.

50% of Dick is Dick: When someone offers you a deal, but it is not very good.

Onion: A nice Ass. (as in, “Check that onion.") often said in an exaggerated Coon Ass drawl, Un-Yawn.

Turd Cutter: Also a nice Ass.

Fuck Me in The Goat Ass: A response to something unbelievable.

Crop Dusting: Walking in front of someone and farting.

Disrespecting an Area: A warning to others you just farted. (as in, “I just totally disrespected this 7-eleven.")

Nerts/Juevos/Cajones/Junk/Kibbles n Bits/My Boys/Das Nuts: Testicles

Go Balls Out: Give it all you got.

Sherm: Sex. (as in, “Did you see Sherm?” “Man, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Sherm, I don’t even remember what he looks like.")

Craptastic: When something is bad.

2 Cd’s for Free: Asking someone if they want to look at your testicles. (as in, “Would you like 2 CD’s for Free?...See Deeze Nuts!” at this point you must point to your crotch with both hands)

Brown Eye: Squatting over a sleeping person with your naked ass. (as in, “If you fall asleep, I am going to give you the Brown Eye.")

Zap: Gay. (as in, One time Clib came out wearing cover-alls with no shirt, we thought he looked like a gay, male stripper. Instead of saying that, we all kept saying “zap” to him all day.” This is stolen from The Simpsons season 8, when Homer thought Bart was gay, because Bart was walking around with a laser gun saying, “zap”.

zero + zero = gay: A way to tell someone they are not dating enough. (as in, “How many girls did you go out with last month?” reply, “none.” “How many girls have you gone out with this month?” reply, “none.” “Hmmm, zero + zero = gay.") To be fair, gay people could say, “zero+zero= straight”

Corky: Mentally or physically challenged.

Smelling European: Bad body odor. (as in, “Dude, you are smelling mighty European.")

Rick: When you are inconsiderate of your fellow travelers, or become increasingly annoying. (as in, “Quit being a Rick, and let’s get out of here.")

2000 Baht: A reference to a hot chick, or a reference to a prostitute. (as in, “I’d give that chick 2000 Baht.” or “I bet she charges 2000 Baht.") This is derived from the frequent price given (unsolicited) from Thai whores, while walking down Bangkok streets.

Corbin: A derogatory comment about a city or town. (as in, “This place is almost as bad as Corbin.") On one of our very first trips, we got lost and then the bike rack mysteriously snapped off the back of the van in Corbin, Kentucky, forever making it the worst town in the world. On a side note: Corbin is the birth place of KFC.

I am going to pound your prostate: A term of endearment, sort of like, I love you.

Do you and your friends have any special words or phrases?

•   Comments(0)    Posted by killer on 07/01 at 04:52 PM
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