I Hope You Enjoy This VD

Bitter singles unite!  Screw this corporate greeting card/flower industry produced holiday! 

I used to appreciate VD more when I was a bartender, because it was usually the busiest day of the year.  Now, it just pisses me off because I don’t pay attention to what day it is and suddenly I can’t get a seat at a restaurant tonight and everyone around me is holding hands and acting all googily eyed. 

If Liz doesn’t die from the Bird Flu I might make her a bouquet of cough drops and leave it on her doorstep.  I would give it to her in person, but she might be contagious.

In memorial of this Oh So Special occasion (VD, not Liz’s untimely demise).  I am putting up the annual Killer Rants Valentine Day public service announcement.

Enjoy

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  • My second valentine of the day! Both I’ve read have been bitingly sarcastic. Ah. The mark of my generation!

    By liz on 2008 02 14

  • killer, will you be my valentine?  (it doesn’t burn when i pee, if that helps in your decision making.)

    By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 14

  • There’s even a special VD song by Burt Bacharach and “Naked Eyes”:

    “Well, how can I forget you, girl?
    When there is always something there to remind me
    Always something there to remind me

    I was born to love her, and I will never be free
    You’ll always be a part of me

    ‘Cause there is always something there to remind me
    Always something there to remind me....”
    Always something there to remind me....”

    By dmarks on 2008 02 14

  • HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY KILLER! *SMOOCHES*

    By Mayren on 2008 02 14

  • I bet if you put all those cough drops in your mouth first, they’d stick together better for Liz’s bouquet.

    By churlita on 2008 02 14

  • I am actually now in a fight with my mom over today’s anti-VD post.  Add two more people to the list of those who will end up disappointed today.

    By Gwen on 2008 02 14

  • Clarification:  MY anti-VD post, not yours.  I’m sure my mom would love you; she ain’t liking me too much right now.

    By Gwen on 2008 02 14

  • Liz:
    I hope you enjoy the thick yellow discharge of happiness I am sending your way.

    Hello:
    Of course I will be your valentine.  As long as you have something curable, I am in.

    Dmarks:
    Now I will not be able to listen to that song without thinking about STD’s.

    Mayren:
    Thanks, I hope you don’t mind, but I copped a feel while you were kissing me.

    Churlita:
    Nice thinking.  Plus, I won’t cough for few days.

    Gwen:
    I was wondering if maybe your Mom had some secret VD hostilities from her past.

    By Killer on 2008 02 14

  • i’m done with the antibiotics...we’re good!

    xoxo

    By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 14

  • STD song? Welcome to the club. A college friend spoiled this when he first told me about “the herpes song” back in 1983 or so.

    By dmarks on 2008 02 14

  • Actually on day like this I think of the McLean and McLean song of “fuck ya”. So if someone was expecting a lot then all I can say is “fuck ya”

    By Paul on 2008 02 14

  • So Killer is a nurse, and a bartender, and he works for Hallmark.  Cool.

    By laughingattheslut on 2008 02 15

  • I just gave flowers to my vibrator. And he didn’t give me any shit or talk back to me either.

    By Absurdist on 2008 02 15

  • And I bet he was all a-buzz with happiness.

    By dmarks on 2008 02 16

  • The Dutch are the largest exporters of flowers in the world. I went to their flower auction in Alsmere, The Netherlands. Look it up online, I am sure you will find all the information you need.
    online flowers

    By online flowers on 2009 12 29

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    By Twitter Layout on 2010 01 02

  • That was a great read for me. I simple agree on every word written, keep it up with all the good work.

    By Myspace Profile Layouts on 2010 01 13

  • thank you for this blog.

    By watch the walking dead online on 2010 12 13

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