I Hope You Enjoy This VD
Bitter singles unite! Screw this corporate greeting card/flower industry produced holiday!
I used to appreciate VD more when I was a bartender, because it was usually the busiest day of the year. Now, it just pisses me off because I don’t pay attention to what day it is and suddenly I can’t get a seat at a restaurant tonight and everyone around me is holding hands and acting all googily eyed.
If Liz doesn’t die from the Bird Flu I might make her a bouquet of cough drops and leave it on her doorstep. I would give it to her in person, but she might be contagious.
In memorial of this Oh So Special occasion (VD, not Liz’s untimely demise). I am putting up the annual Killer Rants Valentine Day public service announcement.
Enjoy
Comments(14) 
Posted by killer on 02/14 at 07:06 AM-
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- mmo said
HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE!
ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir
- heather said
in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well.
- hello haha narf said
i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on. of course i thought of you. and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!
miss you and killer. hope all is well with you both.
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
My second valentine of the day! Both I’ve read have been bitingly sarcastic. Ah. The mark of my generation!
By liz on 2008 02 14
killer, will you be my valentine? (it doesn’t burn when i pee, if that helps in your decision making.)
By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 14
There’s even a special VD song by Burt Bacharach and “Naked Eyes”:
“Well, how can I forget you, girl?
When there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me
I was born to love her, and I will never be free
You’ll always be a part of me
‘Cause there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me....”
Always something there to remind me....”
By dmarks on 2008 02 14
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY KILLER! *SMOOCHES*
By Mayren on 2008 02 14
I bet if you put all those cough drops in your mouth first, they’d stick together better for Liz’s bouquet.
By churlita on 2008 02 14
I am actually now in a fight with my mom over today’s anti-VD post. Add two more people to the list of those who will end up disappointed today.
By Gwen on 2008 02 14
Clarification: MY anti-VD post, not yours. I’m sure my mom would love you; she ain’t liking me too much right now.
By Gwen on 2008 02 14
Liz:
I hope you enjoy the thick yellow discharge of happiness I am sending your way.
Hello:
Of course I will be your valentine. As long as you have something curable, I am in.
Dmarks:
Now I will not be able to listen to that song without thinking about STD’s.
Mayren:
Thanks, I hope you don’t mind, but I copped a feel while you were kissing me.
Churlita:
Nice thinking. Plus, I won’t cough for few days.
Gwen:
I was wondering if maybe your Mom had some secret VD hostilities from her past.
By Killer on 2008 02 14
i’m done with the antibiotics...we’re good!
xoxo
By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 14
STD song? Welcome to the club. A college friend spoiled this when he first told me about “the herpes song” back in 1983 or so.
By dmarks on 2008 02 14
Actually on day like this I think of the McLean and McLean song of “fuck ya”. So if someone was expecting a lot then all I can say is “fuck ya”
By Paul on 2008 02 14
So Killer is a nurse, and a bartender, and he works for Hallmark. Cool.
By laughingattheslut on 2008 02 15
I just gave flowers to my vibrator. And he didn’t give me any shit or talk back to me either.
By Absurdist on 2008 02 15
And I bet he was all a-buzz with happiness.
By dmarks on 2008 02 16