How was your day?

“Hi Honey, how was your day?”
“Mom, it was a rough one.  I was running with my homeys down by the watering hole..”
“What!?  You know you are not supposed to be down by that watering hole--the lions hang out down there.”
“Mom!!!  I’m a big boy.  If I don’t run with the big guys, then none of the chicks will let me smell their butts.”
“You will have plenty of time for butt smelling when you are older.”
“ANYWAY!!!  I was down by the watering hole and a couple of lions started chasing the herd...”
“What!?!  I told you..”
“Mom, come on, let me tell you the story....you always over react.  AS I WAS SAYING--I’m not as fast as the other dudes, so the lions grab me.  Okay, Okay, stop crying...I’m standing right here.  So, the lions grab me and we fall in the water.  I figure I am done for.  All I can think of is, ‘Mom is going to be pissed about this.’ We are wrestling in the water and they start to drag me back up on the shore.  All of a sudden, out of friggin’ nowhere..”
“Watch your language young man.”
“Sorry, out of nowhere, a big, ass crocodile, ‘sorry’, a really large crocodile leaps up and grabs my butt and starts playing tug of war with the lions--using me as the rope.”
“Mister, you are just tying to frighten me and I don’t want any more of it.  You are so grounded for going down there.”
“Wait, you have to hear the rest.  The crocodile is only by himself, so the lions--did I mention there was like four of them?--managed to pull me free from his deadly jaws and pull me back on shore.  Then they started to chew on me.  I don’t know if these were a mess of lions with bad teeth or what, but it was not as bad as it sounds.”
“So now you are trying to tell me that getting mauled by four lions is no big deal?  You better start telling me the truth.”
“I would have thought it was worse, but I am living proof that those guys are pussies.”
“I’ve already warned you about your language young man.”
“Sorry, but anyway, I was lying there getting gummed by a bunch of sorry lions, when my home boys finally got their balls together and decided to come kick some lion butt.”
“Oh sure, I know your ‘friends’ they would not scare any lion.”
“You gotta believe me Mom, they came over and beat the crap out of those lions and saved my ass.”
“That’s it, I am going to wash your mouth out with soap.”
“Are you kidding me!!  I just got mauled by a lion pride, chewed on by a mutant crocodile and all you care about is my language?  You gotta cut me some fucking slack here.”
“Two more weeks grounded.”
“What!  Come on, that is so unfair.  I need to have my homeys come over here and rescue me from you.”
“Bring it on.  I think all of your friends are a bunch of hoodlums, and I don’t believe your cockamamie story anyhow.”
“Well then you are in luck because some annoying tourists video taped the entire thing and posted it on youtube, so you can totally get online and watch it for yourself.”
“You are not allowed to get online while you are grounded so I guess it will be atleast three weeks before you can plead your case.”
“THAT IS SOOO UNFAIR!  This is like a prison!  I wish the lions had eaten me after all.”
“Or maybe the crocodile?”
“I hate you, Mom.”

If you too are having trouble believing this kids story, you can watch the embedded youtube video for yourself.

•   Comments(7)    Posted by killer on 09/28 at 12:34 AM
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