How was your day?
“Hi Honey, how was your day?”
“Mom, it was a rough one. I was running with my homeys down by the watering hole..”
“What!? You know you are not supposed to be down by that watering hole--the lions hang out down there.”
“Mom!!! I’m a big boy. If I don’t run with the big guys, then none of the chicks will let me smell their butts.”
“You will have plenty of time for butt smelling when you are older.”
“ANYWAY!!! I was down by the watering hole and a couple of lions started chasing the herd...”
“What!?! I told you..”
“Mom, come on, let me tell you the story....you always over react. AS I WAS SAYING--I’m not as fast as the other dudes, so the lions grab me. Okay, Okay, stop crying...I’m standing right here. So, the lions grab me and we fall in the water. I figure I am done for. All I can think of is, ‘Mom is going to be pissed about this.’ We are wrestling in the water and they start to drag me back up on the shore. All of a sudden, out of friggin’ nowhere..”
“Watch your language young man.”
“Sorry, out of nowhere, a big, ass crocodile, ‘sorry’, a really large crocodile leaps up and grabs my butt and starts playing tug of war with the lions--using me as the rope.”
“Mister, you are just tying to frighten me and I don’t want any more of it. You are so grounded for going down there.”
“Wait, you have to hear the rest. The crocodile is only by himself, so the lions--did I mention there was like four of them?--managed to pull me free from his deadly jaws and pull me back on shore. Then they started to chew on me. I don’t know if these were a mess of lions with bad teeth or what, but it was not as bad as it sounds.”
“So now you are trying to tell me that getting mauled by four lions is no big deal? You better start telling me the truth.”
“I would have thought it was worse, but I am living proof that those guys are pussies.”
“I’ve already warned you about your language young man.”
“Sorry, but anyway, I was lying there getting gummed by a bunch of sorry lions, when my home boys finally got their balls together and decided to come kick some lion butt.”
“Oh sure, I know your ‘friends’ they would not scare any lion.”
“You gotta believe me Mom, they came over and beat the crap out of those lions and saved my ass.”
“That’s it, I am going to wash your mouth out with soap.”
“Are you kidding me!! I just got mauled by a lion pride, chewed on by a mutant crocodile and all you care about is my language? You gotta cut me some fucking slack here.”
“Two more weeks grounded.”
“What! Come on, that is so unfair. I need to have my homeys come over here and rescue me from you.”
“Bring it on. I think all of your friends are a bunch of hoodlums, and I don’t believe your cockamamie story anyhow.”
“Well then you are in luck because some annoying tourists video taped the entire thing and posted it on youtube, so you can totally get online and watch it for yourself.”
“You are not allowed to get online while you are grounded so I guess it will be atleast three weeks before you can plead your case.”
“THAT IS SOOO UNFAIR! This is like a prison! I wish the lions had eaten me after all.”
“Or maybe the crocodile?”
“I hate you, Mom.”
If you too are having trouble believing this kids story, you can watch the embedded youtube video for yourself.
Comments(7) 
Posted by killer on 09/28 at 12:34 AM-
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- Steven said
It’s been over a year since your blog died.
I blame myself for pointing you at Facebook. How’s your fake farm doing, anyway?
That was awesome. I watched the whole video chanting, Please get up! Please get up!
______________
The other side of the story:
“Son what happend to you? Where’s your sister?”
The young lion doesn’t make eye contact. He just continues to lick his wounds.
“Simba, what happened?”
“Akeelah is missing. She was chased off by a buffalo--it was a really BIG buffalo.”
“A BUFFALO? Are you fucking kidding me? How the hell are you going to be King if you let a buffalo kick your ass.”
“It was the crocodile’s fault. If that toothy bastard hadn’t gotten in the way...”
“Now you’re telling me that you lost out to a Buffalo and a crocodile? Are you a lion or a pussy?”
“That’s so not fair, Dad! I mean, there were like a thousand buffalo. And that croc was huge. Like, his mouth was as big as my body!”
“I’m so ashamed. How will you ever lead the family? That’s it! You are no longer first in line to the throne. I’m putting your cousin Amadi in charge.”
By Mel-O-Drama on 2007 09 28
That was too good! Thanks
By Mayren on 2007 09 28
That is too funny. I watched that video a couple of weeks ago. that is some crazy s*%#.
By churlita on 2007 09 28
Wow.
By fringes on 2007 09 28
was tough to watch the first part of that...thanks for the advance knowledge that i didn’t have to witness the death of that buffalo. then again, i guess i witnessed some starving lions.
damn, i’d never survive in the wild for longer than a week.
By hellohahanarf on 2007 09 28
Yes, you can sell that video to someone. Or you can just give it away for free on YouTube.
By laughingattheslut on 2007 09 28
Holy crap..!!! A very believable story.. we will doubt you again…
By babybull40 on 2007 10 01