Hello, My name is Killer, and I am a sack of shit

Okay, i have been a little bit of a slacker on the blogging frontier.  It’s pretty safe to assume by this point if you don’t have us attached to some sort of reader service, you will never know we are posting again.  We deserve that.  I know I quit checking around here a long time ago.

A quick hello to all, and a special shout out to those that would occasionally check in, sorry I never responded.  I honestly have been a bit too busy for my own good.

A special hello and massive levels of apology to two people in particular who took even greater means to stay connected, Jester and Hellohahanarf.  Both contacted me numerous times outside blogging channels and I did not do a very good job returning that courtesy.  I’m a sack of shit, and I know it.

So, as recommended by Jester a good while back: 

Killer Rants Presents:  WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

In September of 2008, probably about a month after I could no longer find the time to touch my computer, much less blog from it, I opened an Ice Cream franchise.  This seems like a simple venture, which would not take too much time, especially since I had a full time business partner, but Oh my God!  If you have never opened a small business, they are pretty time consuming.  Add to the fact we both still had full time jobs, it was pretty much 24/7 on the go.  There were many, many nights we would both be up there until 3am making ice cream, only to turn around and come back in around 9am to start back again. 
We learned a few valuable lessons along the way, the most important, Always ask forgiveness, never ask permission.  When you ask to do something ahead of time it becomes a huge red-tape-filled cluster fuck, that will inevitably wind up working against you.  Where as, if you just do what you want, the same red-tape-filled cluster fuck is used to try and rectify your mis-deeds, and then it usually ends up in your favor. 
I also learned the importance of firing teenagers.  If your work force is completely made up of minimum wage kids, you can replace them by walking outside and throwing a rock into a crowd.  The first month, there were several days I would HATE going into the shop because there were one or two kids that I absolutely hated being around.  It reminded me of bad nurses I had worked with that I would not understand how they kept their jobs.  Then one night I woke up in the middle of the night and had a sudden revelation.  “I am what is keeping this little shit bag their job!” That morning I walked in and fired my first employee.  That week we went on a rampage of employment termination.  It scared the remaining employees into shape and allowed some kids to really step up and be leaders.  I also realized that if someone seems strange in the interview, they will be strange ALL THE TIME. 
After being opened for four months, which seemed like an eternity, we were doing pretty good.  We were the number one store in our region (which consisted of 20 stores) and usually in the top 15 in the country (180 stores).  So, with absolutely no time to relax and no chance to go travel, which is all I really ever want to do, we did want any sane couple of business men would do in an economic recession.  We decided to start ANOTHER business venture. 
That is what has brought me back out to California.  I am here to make some quick, large sums of cash, in order to offer up my share of liquid capital for the next great idea.  It is not like it is a new thing, for me to work everyday.  I did it for six months before opening the previous shop, so I can handle three more months of it.  I was working everyday since August anyhow, but now I don’t get to fire the people that piss me off.  I miss the power.

I probably would not have found the time to post even this if not for Liz’s gall of posting pictures of kittens all over her half of the blog.  I honestly feel if I don’t keep an eye on here she will eventually turn into a crazy cat lady.  I have not seen her in person for almost two months now, and I bet those kitten pictures are of kittens she has at her house.  The last time I as there I only saw two full size cats, and that is all it takes to make more cats.  She claims there are both boys, but I didn’t think to check for myself.  I also didn’t check her bedroom, actually I don’t go in there because I know it is probably filled with strange sex toys, or thousands of pictures of me pinned to the walls with eerily lit candles, maybe both. 
I’m watching you Liz, and your cats.

•   Comments(8)    Posted by killer on 03/01 at 04:43 PM
•   Digg   del.icio.us   Fark   StumbleUpon