Emergency Room Rant part 2:  People are idiots

As I mentioned recently, I have been working in an emergency room.  We in the industry often refer to it as the “ER”, so if I refer to it hereafter as such, it is an attempt to seem cool and industry chic.

If you have ever had the pleasure of visiting an ER, you know that there is often associated with such a visit a long and agonizing wait.  People have actually died while sitting in uncomfortable, hard plastic chairs waiting for their name to be called and their life to be saved.  Why would this happen?  Because 80% of the traffic in the ER does, by no stretch of the imagination, meet the E part of the ER name.

You can not possibly imagine how many times a person has come into the ER for “flu like symptoms”.  I absolutely LOVE the often self labeled, “flu like symptoms”, because almost always it is caused by the flu.  A completely un-curable condition that will go away on it’s own.  Take some tylenol, a cough drop, and drink a lot of fluids.  Do not come to the EMERGENCY room and demand to see a doctor.  Don’t get angry when you have to wait two hours to get in, and don’t get pissed off when it takes another hour to get your lab results back.  Even if it is some rare disease that is masking itself as “flu like symptoms” the fact that you had these symptoms for the last week, and did nothing about it, tells me you could actually wait until your regular doctor will see you. 

That also brings up the infamous ankle sprain that happened yesterday, around noon, but finally needed an ER visit at 3am.  How about the “chest pain I have had for a month, only after I eat Mexican food.” Most people don’t realize that mentioning the magic words, “Chest and Pain” will get you into the ER immediately, but it will also be followed by a whirlwind of needle filled activity, that will eventually end with a maalox and a $2000 bill.  Many times you get the frequent fliers who cry chest pain, but once in a bed state, “My chest feels much better, but my big toe is killing me.”

Inspite of my rant, I really feel sorry for the poor saps who man the ambulance.  For every nitwit that walks into the ER for a non-emergent reason, there are two that call 911.  They are usually required to transport a person to the hospital regardless of the reason for the call.  My favorite story of such comes from my travel pal and business partner Bam, who is a Fireman.  He was leading a rescue truck that was called to a residence for an emergency, when they arrived they knocked on the door and heard a man yelling to come in.  They found an elderly gentleman sitting on his toilet.  He told them that he is not in good health and he is unable to wipe himself. 
He wanted the fire department to wipe his ass.  He didn’t want to go to the hospital.  He denied any pain or distress.  He just couldn’t reach back there and get to the needed area. 
Bam told him that they would NOT wipe his ass, but they would take him to the hospital, because if he can’t wipe his ass, he isn’t fit to be home alone.  The man became angry and insisted it is the fire departments duty to help out the citizens, and he needed an ass wiping.  Bam disagreed and told the man he was going to the hospital so he could be evaluated for a care facility. 
The man suddenly managed to find the strength to wipe his own ass, and refused to go to the hospital. 
I appreciate Bam’s approach to this.  That guy would have sat in one of the ER beds probably for 12 hours while they decided what to do with him.

  • note to my future ancient self:  911 will bring cute firemen, but they won’t wipe my ass.

    dammit.

    By hello haha narf on 2009 03 06

  • oh good grief hello! of ~course~ that’s the first thing to come to your mind. smile

    bam is my new hero. anytime he feels the need to re-enact this ‘telling off shitty old guy’ bit, i will gladly provide a list of old men who seriously need telling off.

    maybe not for calling the fire department to get someone to wipe their ass, but still…

    By heather on 2009 03 07

  • Hello:
    I’m sure they’d wipe yours.  It all depends on how the ass looks.

    Heather:
    Bam will do anything for a dollar, so feel free to call him.

    By Killer on 2009 03 08

  • does bam know you’re telling some weirdo in ny that he’s selling himself? and everyone else who stops in as a matter of fact? or is this another one of your brilliant money making schemes? just who ~exactly~ will be getting paid here any way?

    By heather on 2009 03 08

  • This gives me so many ideas. The first being that you and bam write a book, “Emergancy: The Rise of Idiots,” that details your experiences in ‘emergency’ situations. I’ll do the editing.

    And I’ll make sure “Bam” is capitalized.

    By Liz on 2009 03 10

  • FRAK!

    I wront this whole long thing about pretty much being forced to go to the ER when it didn’t feel like an emergency to me and I wanted to go someplace else, but the computer ate my comment.

    Maybe I’ll write it again later, but I don’t feel like it right now.

    Glad that you’re back anyway.

    By laughingattheslut on 2009 03 14

  • I see I’m not the only one who swears “Frak”.

    I should try it when the Internet gobbles mostly-written but unsent blog comments and emails. It happens too much.

    By dmarks on 2009 03 22

  • My bf has been going to the emergency room a couple times a week because he receives migrain headaches that hurt him so bad no one knows what to do. He goes to the ER to get help but they are tired of seeing him there. You figure you dont have income and your on unemplyment the ER should treat you with respect. I am sorry but the wait is horrible. They should make hospitals bigger depending on the area of people. A hospital is supposed to help all no matter what to get the business. IF they cant help you why are they even working there? Come on someone tell me that. I am sick of seeing my bf and others suffer. Sometimes the hospital wont even give him pain medichine because he has been there so many times. Im disgusted with hospitals that have lazy co-workers who are over paid and not working. I sure hope this gets fixed or I’m complaining to the hospital or lawyer.

    By Hope on 2009 03 27

  • I think that exhibit A found your blog.

    Do tell us how much you are overpaid for telling someone over and over again that you can’t cure migraines and that you can’t even give him any more pain meds because he has already been given all that he is allowed.

    By laughingattheslut on 2009 03 28

  • Hope,
    Thanks for making my point, in multiple ways.

    Your BFF has to wait for hours because, although it is called the “Emergency Room” ahead of them is a couple dozen people with toe pain and/or a cold, not to mention the drunks and homeless just wanting a bed to sleep in. 
    As nurse, I can guarantee my service does not change depending on your economic status.  I get paid the same regardless, I don’t work on tips, and I don’t get commission.  A lot of the time in the ER, you can not even guess someones socio/economic status, pain seems to be the great equalizer.
    They usually don’t make hospitals bigger in higher populated areas, but they do definitely have MORE of them.  They won’t make them any larger or staff them more due to the extreme number of “unemployed and uninsured people”, who have no intention of ever paying their bill.
    Feel free to go to hospital administration, they get that complaint at every hospital everyday.  These are the people who DO care about your socio-economic status, because all they care about is the money. As for the lawyer, you lost all credibility with that threat.
    FINALLY, I would like to point out that your BFF’s continued trip to the ER with the same problem leads me to believe that, although the ER is most definitely saying every time, “Follow up with a Primary Physician” Your BFF is apparently NOT.  Even sans-insurance, the vast majority of counties have a free-clinic or similar services.  Your BFF needs to find out why they are having migraines and get medication for a long term fix, NOT keep coming into the ER when the problem gets worse.  An ER doctor is not there to treat long term, just to handle EMERGENCIES.
    Unfortunately for your BFF, one of the most frequent complaints given by drug seeking “frequent fliers” is a migraine headache.
    Thanks for stopping by

    By killer on 2009 03 28

  • are you fucking kidding me?  drunk me comes home to read now posts at my favorite site and assholes take up so much frustration that my favorite site doesn’t post?

    grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    By hello haha narf on 2009 03 29

  • Well, you were nicer to her than I would have been.  I would have started with why the hell are you going to the ER for a migraine when you already know it’s a migraine and you need to see a specialist.

    My college boyfriend had migraines.  If he got a headache, he didn’t go to the ER, he went home.  If you’ve got some incurable problem that makes you cry and scream, at least cry and scream where you can be alone and feel a little more comfortable, not in an ER full of strangers.

    I can understand if you’ve never had a migraine before, and you go to the ER because you’re really worried and think you might be having a stroke or something.  But after you know what it is, the ER isn’t going to help much.  And this person’s bf goes to the ER a couple of times a week?  What the hell???

    By laughingattheslut on 2009 03 29

  • Hey Killer - I am home for Crossraods - I have a film playing saturday at 5. hope you get this and can come. Love, P

    By Paige W on 2009 04 02

  • Dear Killer,
    I think you may enjoy a recent grass ass, eff your world rant that I unknowingly participated in recently. Unknowingly because I didn’t know it was being filmed. Oh, and the alcohol could have slightly clouded my memory…
    http://www.scandaloushousewife.net/2009/04/bollywood-meets-loft-610-final-chapter.html

    By Scandalous Housewife on 2009 04 06

  • maybe she is trying to show what happens

    By goldankauf on 2009 05 19

  • Stay the hell home when you have a migraine.  I don’t feel sorry for your stupid boyfriend who is taking my time in the ER from a stroke or heart attack patient.  Never has a migraine, ever, killed anyone!!  And I promise you, mrs. loser, and Obama lover, and inability to pay moron, your attorney doesn’t care either, b/c he actually requires money before providing services which you obviously don’t have!!!

    By Joel Blackburn on 2010 01 04

  • It’s mainly because people can’t afford health insurance, so instead they go to the ER for help.  It’s said what this country has turned into, because when people really need help they don’t get it.

    By Charles on 2010 01 10

  • I think the ER here is burnt out on the majority of the people who come in with a complaint of back pain, headaches toe stubs and tooth aches and the like.
    I have a story of when i was there a year ago. We were out at the lake walking the trails,fishin, you know having what was supposed to be a great time. i slipped and I had landed on my ankle After 45 minutes of trying to find service in that hole, signal aquired, help comes, i get to the hospital.
    THIS IDIOT comes in an ambulance almost the same time as myself, they decided to stick her in the room two down from mine. I could her whine and bitch about her stomach, i shrugged it off. They carted me off to xray and brought me back...the woman is still there. Few minutes pass and this broad decides to get up and walk herself out and walk past the rooms, i’ve always kept my curtain open a bit so i don’t feel as secluded...bad mistake. She opens the curtain wider and says woman you aint got nothin wrong with your ankle you just twisted it cuz—she didn’t get to finish because the nurse had walked up behind her and placed his hand around her arm to tote her off . At the same time i had sat straight up and told her if she didn’t get her crack headed ass out of my face i was going to put her in pain for real. She does the childish thing and flips me off. The nurse and i’m guessin a security guard take her some where else. So i’m laying there trying not to scream from the sudden movement i had just made and i see a police officer walk in and i smile. turns out The dumb woman was already so high that she had no clue that she had paraphenalia in her purse and it was wide open for the world to see. Wasn’t a damn thing wrong with her, only that she wanted a fix *rolls eyes*
    My ending? was a badly broken foot that had to have pins put in, aren’t i so lucky?

    So to the ER workers you guys do a wonderful job...too bad there isn’t a pre-screening test for the walk-ins huh? I mean besides seeing the triage nurse and such.

    By insanity pleas get you nowhere on 2010 01 21

  • oh my gosh!! she didn`t know what she was doing!!!

    By Goldankauf on 2010 01 21

  • Ya that’s right one needs to come to ER for emergency situations and not long term illnesses.

    By auto insurance by state on 2010 02 25

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