Death Before Dishonor: Giver of Light

Continuing the series that focuses on my deceptive ways, we now shoot ahead a few months to my next job. I was a door man at a local movie theater; Meadowbrook Cinema Six.

I really enjoyed this job, not just for the free movies, all you can eat popcorn or the really cool polyester jacket/bowtie combo, but there was never a manager for almost the entire eight months I worked there; only two “assistant managers” who made about fifty cents more an hour than me. It was utter anarchy.

I stress almost in that last statement, because at the very end of my tenure we did finally receive a new manager, straight from the corporate office. He immediately stated his intentions “to clean this hell hole up, and run it like a well oiled machine.” No one wanted that kind of pressure after so long a period of relative free reign and an endless supply of goobers.

One night after a rousing speech announcing the end of the unofficial door man policy of letting large groups in through the side door for half price (all proceeds to be split evenly among all the doormen), the manager retired to his office to hide from the Friday night rush.

We were jam packed for the seven oclock showing. It was an exceptionally busy night with the one-two punch of Boys in the Hood and Terminator 2. I was making my rounds outside, looking for large groups to sneak in through the side door (you can’t expect us to quit cold turkey!), when I noticed the C-I-N-E-M-A lights were not lit up above the theater.

I could not remember if they were usually lit up or not. I am not usually very observant. I did not want to look like an idiot and ask if they should be turned on, so I just walked back to the control room and looked for a switch to turn them on.

There is a flaw in the system here, that is part coincidence and part poor labeling. C-I-N-E-M-A just so happens to have six letters, and we just so happened to have six theaters (hence the name Meadowbrook Cinema 6). In the control room are six large breaker switches, above them labeled very neatly with fancy labeling tape it says, “CINEMA LIGHTS”. On each individual switch are the numbers 1-6.

You can see the ease in this up coming mistake, can’t you?

I proceed to flip each switch up. I then calmly stroll out into the main lobby, out the front door to admire my handy work.

The lights are not on.

I come back inside confused, but already losing interest in the whole ordeal.

Suddenly all the movie goers are filing out of the theaters into the main lobby. Many look very perturbed. They all come in unison and start asking, “what the hell is going on?”

After some quick questions by the manager, it comes out that the emergency flood lights have been turned on in not one, but all six theaters. Soon the entire lobby is filled with a few hundred angry, yelling customers. All demanding a refund.

The manager decides that he can not give EVERY one a refund, that would look really bad, especially during his first month. As he tries to explain this point, many are growing more and more robust in their anger.

The vast majority leave in disgust, vowing to never return to this shitty theater. Those that were diligent enough to stick it out however, got a full refund.

I kept my mouth shut the entire time.

Once the crowd was dispersed the manager went about trying to figure out why the theater lights had mysteriously turn on. He was studying each theater and looking to see if any fire alarms had been pulled, he even called the fire department to see if they had received any alarms.

In an effort to end the mystery, I still wanted to try and get some people in the side door for the nine oclock show, I walked into the control room and yelled, “Here is the problem...somebody flipped all the breakers.”

The control room quickly filled with gawking employees and the manager. It was determined, after a round of denials from all the staff, it must be some punk kids.

The manager decides to place a “security guard” at the door to protect it from happening again. He would later spend a couple hundred dollars to have a special key pad entry lock on that door to prevent vandals and hooligans from wrecking business.

He would later request to be transferred to another facility. A facility not so over run with insolent staff and crazed punk kids turning all the lights on.

Comments(13) Posted by killer on 10/29 at 08:47 PM
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ah but killer, it only counts as half a point. your intentions were good, granted your road to hell recieved another paving stone, but you meant well.

By heather on 2007 10 30
that’s awesome. nothing like running the new manager outta dodge. good work, killer.

you know, i think everyone should have to work in a restaurant and a movie theater when they are young. makes for good character.

By hellohahanarf on 2007 10 30
Thank god for “punk kids” to use as scapegoats.

By churlita on 2007 10 30
Not all theater managers hide from work. Most of the ones I had at General Cinema worked right along with us, except one, and after several of us signed a petition listing some of his screw-ups, he wasn’t there anymore.

On the other hand, United Artists has the giant spy window, and the managers spend most of their time upstairs making use of it.

Well, being that I’m a lady and a good moral person in general, I never did anything like let people in the side door for half price. But there was free movies and free popcorn and free sodas. And although the candy was not supposed to be free, well, candy in damaged boxes was free, cause we only needed to keep the empty box to prove the damage, not the candy inside. So there tended to be a lot of accidents involving boxes of candy. And there was no reason to let the candy itself go to waste just because of damaged boxes.

The guys straight from the corporate office are always idiots. One of them ran off his best employee by accusing her of stealing a pickle. She didn’t steal it, just she said that she would pay for it after break, cause she didn’t have the money before break cause she had to go to the break-room to get her purse. It’s not brain surgery, and people do that all the time, but he didn’t seem to know that and yelled at the poor girl til she cried. A couple of other girls walked out with her. Idiots.

By laughingattheslut on 2007 10 30
I never knew you worked at a movie theater...which makes me think that I never told you that I worked at the Cobb Theater at Metrocenter when I was in high school. It also seems that we worked at them at about the same time (I’m thinking you were there in ‘91 and I was there in ‘92 - based on the scariest movies of our respective careers - Boyz in the Hood for you (I’m assuming) and Malcolm X for me).

Yeah, it was an awesome job. The best thing was that McDonald’s at Metro ran a special where you got a free order of fries with a ticket stub. I would go by and get like 10 orders of fries for my ride home....thus explaining why I have been a fat-ass most of my life. I remember that the best experience (while clearly not the best movie) was Batman Returns as I had mastered the art of taking advantage of free stuff. I took a huge plastic cup for soda, used the lid off of the Cobbster drink (our 44 ounce (i think) behemoth) as a nacho plate, and used one of the paper bags we used to keep ticket stubs as a popcorn bag. It was truly a great night. It was also awesome when Basic Instinct was out because for that month or so I was actually a pretty popular kid during that time...probably because I let scores of kids from 13-16 in to see if (usually for free).

Anyway, the job was great...we were only 4 theaters so we would get the patrons in the theaters and then play video games the whole time. One of the “assistant managers” jimmied open a 1942 machine with a paint scraper and made a copy of the key....so after that we just played that for free all the time.

Everything was great until corporate sent this dickwad in to ruin it for us all....Jefferson was his name...how could he not be a tool? Anyway, he didn’t give me overtime one week after I worked 68 hours because “there was a little known law that said that movie theaters were exempt from time and a half.” That almost caused me to quit....but what put me over the edge was the time that he wanted to write me up because one of corporate’s “spies” noted that there was a soda cup in the aisle and that I walked right past it to do something in the theater and did not pick it up and throw it away. I informed him that I didn’t recall the incident but that I imagine that I just assumed that it belonged to someone sitting in an aisle seat (the Cobb Metro 4 didn’t have cup holders). And seeing as how 90% of our patrons were on welfare and had just paid $3 for a Coke, there was no way I was going to throw away a cup if I wasn’t 100% sure that it was abandoned. Anyway, when he insisted on writing me up, I told him to piss off and quit…

Sorry for the long reply....this just reminded me of how great that job was before Jefferson had to ruin it for me.

Oh yeah....also heard Pearl Jam Ten for the first time while working there.

By gatey on 2007 10 30
Heather:
I chased a man out of his chance to turn around the worst theater in the chain...that can’t look good on my record.

Hello:
It at least builds disposable income.

Laughing:
You should have been more dishonest...it is more fun that way. I can regale you with many money making schemes from a theater. Some pretty disturbing.

Gatey:
I worked at Meadowbrook for the summer of 91. I soon left to go work at UPS for a few months.
I can picture Metro Cinema being a frightening experience. It was no Ellis Aisle, but it was bad.

By Killer on 2007 10 30
I am generally not a dishonest person.

Though I did once have a bit of fun explaining to a seventy year old woman that you could usually get into a movie theater for free just by wearing certain clothes and carrying a few common items with you. The same method should work for other places as well, though I would not try it at anyplace that has a security scanner/metal detector.

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Yeah, it was an awesome job. The best thing was that McDonald’s at Metro ran a special where you got a free order of fries with a ticket stub.

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