Behind the Meat Curtain
I am still unable to sleep after Liz’s self portrait of her self titled “meat curtain”. It has given me a great deal of time to fume over her audacity.
How dare she compare her Vajayjay to the greatness that is my balls. I could write a book on the ways my balls are better, but I will only need one...THERE ARE THREE OF THEM!
I mean, as far as I know, and I have seen a few of her videos, she only has ONE Vajayjay. That’s singular. And is a proven, scientific fact that two is better than one, so ipso facto...Three kicks the shit out of one. Like a super ninja beating down a retarded kitten.
The fight is so one-sided, everyone is bound to think me an enormous dick for going through with it. But, since Liz’s meat curtain craves enormous dicks, I will throw myself on that grenade.
Although I have supreme confidence in my testicular superiority, I am concerned about the hygienic consequences of doing battle with her meat curtain. I mean, did you see that picture? It looks like she could throw it at me like a giant, meaty net. I could become ensnared in Liz’s meat curtain. One can only liken it to being caught by a giant squid. Oh my God! You don’t think she can squirt ink out of there do you?!? Oh Man! That is disgusting.
What if she throws the meat curtain around me and, even without the ink spray, it ensnares me and pulls me into a pit. A pit where there are the bones of other unfortunate men, maybe a big pile of bleach white bones of varying age and size. Suddenly a pile of bones behind me tumbles over and as I spin I find myself face to face with a living guy with a long flowing beard. He tells me he has been trapped there for years. He is all gaunt and wearing a loin cloth like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away”. Except he’s a midget...yeah, he’d be a midget.
Holy Shit! What if all that is possible? I wouldn’t put it past Liz to be hiding a gaunt, hairy midget behind her meat curtain.
Well, I for one want nothing to do with that scary shit! I am not going near her and her meat curtain. Call me a pussy if you want, but shit man...midget’s scare the holy hell out of me.
Comments(11) 
Posted by killer on 02/22 at 12:56 AM-
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- mmo said
HOW TO MAKE YOUR E-PENIS BIGGER INSIDE!
ah a killer rant inside a killer rant website! well done sir
- heather said
in the odd chance that aliens haven’t kidnapped you and killer, i wanted to stop by and wish you all a good holiday season. if you can not only make it out to the other side still breathing and manage to have a little bit of fun in the process then you’ve done well.
- hello haha narf said
i’m up entirely too early and damned if there isn’t the cricut infomercial on. of course i thought of you. and wondered if you are using that damn awesome thing!
miss you and killer. hope all is well with you both.
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
This illustration alone makes this a 4 star post.
I’m thinking of becoming a vegetarian.
By jester on 2008 02 22
Well, at first I thought I just wouldn’t be eating fajitas for a while. But now, I’m with jester. I may be totally off the meat.
By Mel-O-Drama on 2008 02 22
If you’re going to be breaking through meat curtains, you might want to trim that nail on your middle finger.
I thought I was pushing the envelop of decency when I posted the meat curtain pic on my last post. This, however, is both disturbing and wonderful. VERY funny work, Killer. But why gray? I mean really? Couldn’t you have made it a slightly more pink color so she looked like she still had some life left in ‘er?
By liz on 2008 02 22
you have simply forgotten that it is the woman’s vagina that makes the world go round...men control the world, women control the men.
or some such shit that i read somewhere.
but did you really compare liz’s vajayjay to a ertarded kitten? killer, you need to get out more often!
midgets scare you? why? they are just little people.
By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 22
One would think since there are three of them, a trilogy makes much more sense.
Lord of the Balls by K. Dorubem.
Mel… call your publisher I think we’re on to something.
By dave on 2008 02 22
Jester:
You just don’t appreciate the Vajayjay.
Mel:
You’ll just have to stick to the more phallic meats like Vienna Sausages and corn dogs.
Liz:
He’s been in there for a while, and if you want better nail care, you should place a manicure kit in...well, you get the point.
I was trying to avoid being to pink. I wanted to keep it classy.
Hello:
If I thought this post would make the ladies stop giving me any...I would never have posted it.
I did not directly compare her little lady to a retarded kitten, but was implying that if in a battle with my balls, which are like a super ninja, it would make....okay, yes, I compared her to a retarded kitten, but I thought it would be okay, because she loves cats.
The midget line was strictly artistic license.
Dave:
I’m way ahead of you, but my version is actually a musical.
By Killer on 2008 02 22
I would pay just about anything to see the epic coliseum battle of the super ninja vs. the retarded kitten
By othurme on 2008 02 22
this post won’t make me withhold it from you, killer. i’d never deny you. xoxo
By hellohahanarf on 2008 02 22
Great. Now I am horny.
By Absurdist on 2008 02 22
you have proved liz’s point for her.
you fear the meat curtian while she is simply tired of the balls.
and if you really want to count, don’t forget liz has funbags of her own. when you remember that then you both have three.
By heather on 2008 02 22
I think the meat curtain is probably hiding Osama Bin laden. It seems big enought.
By Paul on 2008 02 24