Back In The Saddle

I have been out of the blogging loop for so long, I have almost forgotten what I am supposed to blog about. 

I think it has something to do with my balls, but that doesn’t seem right.  Why would anyone want to read that?  Has the World Wide Webs numbed us all to such disturbing levels that people would actively seek out and support such tomfoolery? 

I hope not.  There is a world of cute kitten posters you could be googling right now.  I really mean that...after writing that last sentence I spent about thirty minutes on google looking for cute motivational kitten posters.  I had one in mind.  This one.

I could not believe the overwhelming amount of kitten propaganda on the information super highway.  It seems dangerous to have all those kittens on a highway.

I then remembered, not to long ago, the Onion had a funny kitten related headline.

I started to wonder if, in a thinly veiled attempt to increase web traffic, maybe we should be MORE kitten oriented here.  We have the one cursory kitten at the top of the page.  I don’t recall working him into the design for ulterior motives, but maybe my kitten scheme has been subconscious for some time. 

Maybe if I replace Liz with a cute, cuddly kitten, I could get more than two posts while I am out of town.  But, where could I drink, win at poker, and then pass out in an overly pillowed bed?  I think some kittens might have a few of those qualities, but not in great enough quantity.

I then started to wonder, “what would it be like if my balls were actually cute, cuddly kittens?”

Would women be more, or less, likely to want to pet them?  I mean, who doesn’t see kittens, and then instantly want to reach out and rub and hold them?  I can’t tell you how many times I have witnessed women pick up strange, unfamiliar kittens and rub them against their face, cooing and making soft, sexy noises. 

If my balls were kittens, I would enjoy that treatment.  That rarely happens now, at least not for free.

But, then I realized it might be disconcerting to many people if there is an abnormal amount of frantic movement from the groin region of my pants.  Not to mention the constant soft, high pitched mewling.  That would get annoying after a very short period.  Also, if my balls scratched and bit on occasion only a select few women would still go along with that...and I don’t really go for that scene.

No, I think I will keep my balls as they are.  They have served me well up to this point.  But if you run across a kitten with a quaint little house, full of campy, yet tasteful, decorations, and a willingness to drink frequently, scoop it up and give me a call.  If they can also produce a humorous blog entry more than once a week, Liz might get replaced, but that kitten better be house broken...it took me forever to get Liz that way.

•   Comments(8)    Posted by killer on 05/19 at 09:01 PM
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